A real Actress
by ButterflyCate
Summary: Satine moves to London with Zidler, where she has a child and becomes the famous actress she's always dreampt of. Christian publishes his book, and soon the play that Satine is staring in next is her own love life story. I've added the sequal!
1. Default Chapter

~*A real Actress*~  
  
I looked out the window as the train began to move. I was exhausted but I knew that sleep would not be found. All I could think about was Christian. What had I done to him? Would he write our story? Paris began to flash before my eyes as the train sped up. Everything was dark except for the village of Monmarte. And somewhere in there was Christian. I could see him visibly in my minds eye. His tall figure slightly built, his dark hair falling over eyes that looked like the sea after a storm. His soothing voice whispering in my ear about how much he loved me, his enchanting words. And that childish smile. I could feel tears start to well in my eyes, oh how much I love him.  
  
"Is everything alright my dear?" And then there was the matter of the Duke. He was traveling with us to London and would stay; though I didn't not know how long. He would then head back to Paris to help look after the Moulin Rouge and attend what work had to be done in France. I couldn't wait until he left. I looked at him smiling my enchanting smile I throw at all men and I know it makes them weak at the knees. But at that moment looking at the Duke with his Blue eyes, honey hair (that seemed to also match his teeth) and that pinched smile, I wanted to vomit all over him. I thought, musing over the idea what fun it would be. "Oh Duke, you know that I've lived at the Moulin Rouge since I was little. It's my home. I almost hate to leave it but I know that I'll find a better life in London." I lied. Ha! Of course I lied. Isn't that what my life is? Lies? Yes, that what my life is made up of. And endless road of lies that has cost me my life. my love. I was the spider weaving my own web of lives and someday (or maybe that day was now) I would catch myself in those lies, I would be my own prey.  
  
"Yes well I thought you might be thinking about-"  
  
"Christian? Ha! Oh Duke, you know he bewitched me with words so that I could be his personal whore. Please don't even say his name in my presence. I just hate to think about what he did to me!" I lied once more. God I hate myself so bad. I saw Harold and Marie eyeing me. The Duke only nodded in response and seemed to scoot closer to me. I stood up hurriedly. "Well I've had a pretty exhausting day, or night. And it's two in the morning. I think I'll go to bed." I stood up and opened a door that led to a separate room with a bed. And little space for changing. I unbuttoned the traveling dress and slipped out of it. I took of my corset and then put on a white nightgown. I got into bed and not a minute later the tears started to come. I cried into my pillow silently so I didn't disturb the others. I must have fallen asleep crying because when I woke it was morning. The sun was up high, so I figured it was about noon. Next to me I saw a trey of a full breakfast. Eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy, coffee. I ended up only drinking the coffee and nibbling on some biscuits.  
  
The rest of the time on the trip the Duke would try to get me alone with him and try to make a move on me. It seemed as though I had to go to the restroom a lot and wanted something to eat or I was asleep. When we got to London I new it was going to be harder to avoid the Duke. And to avoid not sleeping with him would be useless.  
  
The Duke had a summer home in London and had a full working staff, even when he was in France. He had one of his staff pick us up and take us to the mansion, which was in the heart of London. Once we got there it was dinnertime and food was already served. There were many dishes to pick from but I only ate some spiced potatoes, bread with butter, and a couple bights of pork. I drained my wineglass and then excused myself. A maid showed me to my room, which was fairly large and very dull. Maids had taken all my dresses and show constumes and hung them in the closet. There was still room left in the closet to hang at least 20 more dresses. The bed was large with a maroon canopy over head, and curtains I could draw open or shut. Silk and satin sheets covered the bed along with silk pillows. A fire was burning brightly, but the room was still cold in the winter night. A lounging couch was at the other side of the room near a balcony. There came a nock at my door and almost groan figuring it was the Duke. But to my surprise (and thanks) it was another maid.  
  
"The duke would like to see you in his quarters Mademoiselle Satine." Informed the maid. I rubbed my temple as if I had a headache.  
  
"If you will inform the Duke that I'm not feeling well, and that I will speak with him in the morning I would be most obliged. I'm afraid my head is achy and I'm feeling rather fatigued right now." The maid nodded and walked out of the door. There was still another maid in the room. She was young, almost as old as I was. I sighed, I wanted privacy. "You are dismissed."  
  
"If you are in need of something Mademoiselle I will be the one to help you. My name is Mary." She smiled at me, made a small curtsey and then left out another door. I figured her quarters were next to mine. I walked over to the full mirror and took down my hair from its braided bun. It fell to the middle of my back in a wave of auburn. I unbuttoned my jacket and then blouse. I started unzipping the back of my dress when the door sprung wide open. And there stood the duke.  
  
"Duke!" I gasped silently. He didn't seem to be mad but the way he walked over to me, grabbed my dress and ripped it the rest of the way off I felt like he wasn't all that happy. "Duke did the maid not tell you I was feeling ill tonight?" I asked but he continued to rip my petticoat and my corset. Soon I was standing there totally naked in front of him. He grabbed my arm and walked me to the bed and practically jumped on me and started to hump me through his cloths. And soon he lost his cloths all together. The whole night it lasted. It must have been 4 in the morning when he finally got off of me and returned to his quarters. I was so glad he was gone. And as soon as he was I sobbed into my pillow. The whole thing was emotionless and full of lust. I wished for Christians soft touch and the love and passion that went into it. I don't know how long I cried but when I woke up the winter sun was shining in through the balcony windows. I was still naked and the fire burned low.  
  
"Oh your up." I heard the girl's voice. She looked at me, rather confused. I smiled at her weakly. "I'll get your breakfast." She said hurriedly.  
  
"Wait," I stopped her, "Has the Duke left?" She only nodded. I sighed in relief and leaned my head back down on my pillow. I heard her footsteps fading as she walked down the hallway. I grabbed for my robe, which was at the end of my bed. I shivered when my feet made contact with the cold stone floor. I walked over to the balcony, and looked out upon the streets of London. The wind was chill and stung against my face, which was better than the dull ache in my heart. I closed my eyes and thought back to Christian and the first time we met. "My gift is my song. and this ones for you..." My thoughts drew out the sound of his voice and I could almost hear him singing in my ear. "Miss Satine!" I heard a shrill voice behind me. "You'll catch your death out in that cold!" Mary scolded. I turned around to meet her and walked into my room were she quickly closed the windows. "Monsieur Zidler told me to pick this one out. He said you have an audition for a play."  
  
"Thank you Mary, I'll get dressed myself. Inform Harold that I will meet him in the parlor for discussion on the part I am auditioning for." She nodded her response and walked out.  
  
I disrobed and quickly put on my stockings, corset, and petticoat. The dress that Harold had picked for me to wear was a beautiful maroon color. It was bunched up in the back and then fell into a train. The front fell neatly over my stocking feet. The top was fit closely (like all my dresses) and had a low neckline. The sleeves were three quarter length. I then slipped into a pair of nice black shoes; French braided my hair, applied some make up, grabbed a black shawl and headed downstairs to the parlor. I walked in a smelled breakfast. but I had no appetite.  
  
"Oh my little strawberry!" I heard Harold's melodious voice ringing my pet name. I smiled at him. "Darling do you know what I have here?" He asked holding out stack of papers stuck together. "I'm afraid I don't. But do tell me Harold." He seemed almost drunk he was so giddy. Yeah so what else is new with Harold Zidler.? "I have here the script of the biggest play in England. I mean this production will have everyone who's anybody will be there. And the auditions are today! Love, I want to you look at the main part for the girl. I have a feeling you will be the talk of all of England and in less than a year. All of Europe will know your name. Or at least he name Gwen Meire." He smiled a huge smile a big smile and sat down to enjoy another muffin. "Come darling, you must go over the script with me." I sat down, but right when I did I felt extremely sick all of the sudden. I got up to run outside but I didn't make it. I threw up all over the floor. "Marie! Send for the Doctor and get somebody to clean up this mess. Claire, go run a bath for Mademoiselle Satine."  
  
When I came back downstairs the doctor was waiting for me. After a series of check ups and other procedures I suppose doctors go through he finally announced that.  
  
"Gwen is pregnant." I looked up at him, Marie gasped and immediately her eyes filled with tears, Harold just sat there. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ ~*~~  
  
I did try out for the part in the play and got it. Harold was right, my name was known through out England after that. Or at least the name Gwen Meire. The staff soon became accustomed to the name, though it wasn't very hard since they only knew the name Satine for about 24 before Harold changed it to Gwen. My baby was born in late May. When I took my first look at her, I could see Christian written all over her. Her eyes were just like his stormy grays; I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. There was only one problem. The duke was coming for another visit in two weeks.  
  
"We will have to pass her off as a pre-me. I'm sure the Duke won't know any difference." Said Harold. He was sitting in a guest seat next to my bed.  
  
"But she doesn't look anything like him." I insisted looking down at my precious baby girl.  
  
"Yes, well. she looks like you. I'm sure we can pull her off as his." Concluded Harold. A knock came at the door. "Come in!" I shouted. It was the nurse.  
  
"Have you thought of a name for your little girl yet?" Asked the nurse.  
  
"Yes. Her name is Clara. Clara Marie Thomas." I said slowly. Harold looked at me. I had chosen Christians last name as the name for my baby. For our baby. ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ **~**~**~ I did another play for the same acting company. They said that tickets had sold better this year than any other. The company said they owed it all to me. The Duke didn't visit again until May. Clare's first birthday. Luckily I had practice for the summer production most of the three weeks that he was there. And I practice would usually end late. The only touching we did at his stay was a "passionate" kiss or two. He said he was sorry for not visiting us (as in his 'daughter' and I) and that he would be around more the next year. The summer past beautifully and my name became even more famous after the summer production. Summer faded into fall and it was October until I heard news about the upcoming Christmas play and when tryouts were. I had just come from the theatre, holding the still sealed script in my hand. I was walking down the streets of London, enjoying the crisp October weather and the way the sun played with the colors of the yellow, red, orange, and brown leaves. I almost didn't notice the book sitting in the front of the bookstore window. And even now I don't know how I noticed it in the first place. I looked closer at it and gasped. The title was "The Moulin Rouge" and at the bottom it said the authors name. Christian L. Thomas. I ran inside quickly grabbing a copy. Then walked to the front desk. I paid for the book and opened it hurriedly to find the dedication page. It read. For my Beloved Satine, She was my sparkling diamond. I love you, my darling.  
  
I stifled a sob at reading those words. He had told our story. I stood there looking at the page. Reading the words over and over in my head. Remembering those last terrible moments when I made him believe I was dead. Tears streamed from my eyes, stinging my cheek in the cold autumn air. I closed the book, and walked the rest of the way home; running upstairs to my bedroom and there I sat on my bed. I dismissed every one and asked for my baby girl. I nursed and sung to her and soon sleep had claimed her. I set her at my side under the covers; looking her over. I saw Christian in every way, shape and form, in her. I sighed heavily and picked up the book. A thrill ran through my body as I looked at the very first lines of the book. Goosebumps covered my body and my heart almost leapt out of my body. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."  
  
I read all night. Through out the whole book I was crying. Tears of remembrance shook my body with sobs. I found myself reading pages over again, I just couldn't seem to get enough of it all. I finished the book at 7:00 A.M hating myself. This book was a revolution to what I had done to Christian; opening my eyes to see the wound I had inflicted upon him. I thought rashly about leaving and finding my love and living happily ever after with him and our child. I then realized something. If he were to see me now, it would surely kill him. I had put him through hell when I faked my death. For him to find that I was still alive. what would that do to him? He would doubt my love for him because of it. And it would hurt him even more deeply to know I was still alive and believe I didn't love him. I'd ruined it for us the day I made him believe I was dead. We could never be together now. More tears slipped from my eyes falling on the last page of the book. I could never see Christian again. And this realization hit me hard. I threw the book on the ground with more tears streaming from my eyes and ran blindly to the balcony window. Throwing it open I ran outside. My nightgown whipped around me the cold air leaking through. I didn't care, nothing mattered anymore. I was foolish to ever even think about trying to meet Christian again. I put my barefoot on the railing and then followed with my other foot. I stood at the edge ready to jump, ready to end it all. when I heard my baby cry. I slowly stepped down from the railing. When my feet were planted firmly on the ground I collapsed sobbing. I beat the ground with my fist.  
  
"Why?!" I screamed up at the sky. "What did I do to deserve this!?" I screamed still. "Why." I whispered. My babies' cries broke through my own. I picked myself up and walked unsteadily to her. I took her in my arms and held her close.  
  
YAY! Finished chapter one. More to come. No flames please!!!!! First MR fic. And btw I started a story something like this before under a different user name so if it seems a lot like one you've read before that's why. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Christmas play was a total success. My popularity in Europe was rising with every play I did. People traveled from all over to see the productions I was staring in. And yet, through out it all I was unhappy. The only comfort I had was my baby girl and Christian's book. I never told anybody about my suicidal thoughts and nobody new I read Christian's book like the bible. His words to me were keeping me alive and yet they tore at me at the same time. I would read a line and throw the book across the room, only to jump out of bed and pick it up again. Which then led to tears and heartache. Unfortunately the Duke was true to his word about being around more the next year. He came once every two months. After every sexual encounter we had, he would leave the next day. I hated myself during those hours we were together and I would take special precautions to make sure I would never be pregnant with his child.  
  
Spring came and went, which was followed by summer, and fall followed closely behind. My baby was now a year old and started taking on a personality, which was a mix between Christian's and mine. She was singer, star, sass, and actress. And yet gentle, kind, and seemed to have a knack for words. Her hair was mine, but her eyes were Christians. Looking at her was like looking at Christian. So much so, that I had to turn from her when she asked a question or pleaded with me to buy her something. Another year followed and then another. Christian became almost as famous as I did with his books.  
  
It was early September when I was walking to the studio to pick up the script for our upcoming play. The air was cold, so I kept my veil over my face even after I got inside the studio. The producer was standing there with the script in his hand; ready to give it to me. He greeted me warmly.  
  
"Ahh Gwen! You're here just in time! Have you read the books by Christian L. Thomas?" Asked Peter, the producer of all the plays.  
  
I nodded my head and was getting ready to take my veil off, when he pulled me by the hand taking me excitedly down the isle. In front of me I saw a man and what seemed to be a child. But as I came closer I noticed that it had a beard. My heart jumped out of my throat as I realized that this was no child, it was Toulouse! And the man standing next to him was...  
  
"Christian! Allow me to introduce you to our leading actress, and the talk of Europe. Ms. Gwen Meire. She will be staring in the production of The Moulin Rouge."  
  
"Mademoiselle Meire, I'm pleased to meet you." I was silent. I couldn't say a word, I couldn't breath a breath. Just looking at him brought a wave of emotion that almost made me rip off the veil and jump into his arms; clinging to him and crying, "I'll never leave you! I'll never hurt you again!" But I resisted this action with all my might. I forced my voice to speak; though words hardly made it out.  
  
"I'm pleased to meet you too." I breathed the words heavily. I averted my eyes downward only to meet the eyes of Toulouse. I prayed right then that he was drunk because I knew if he took one sober look at me that would be it. He must have been at least slightly drunk; for he seemed to look at me with a glazed expression... at first. Then I did something utterly stupid, that comes as a habit when I'm around any guy. I tilted my head, and smiled. Not a toothy smile, it was my enchanting smile. Rather mischievous. And the dumbest part of this action was I did it at Toulouse. I had known Toulouse since I was very young. He knew everything about me. And right then he saw through the veil. Luckily Christian was talking with Peter and didn't see my mistake. Toulouse on the other hand opened his eyes wide at me.  
  
"Sati..." I he was getting ready to question who I was. So I quickly interrupted.  
  
"Peter, will you please excuse me. I haven't been feeling well. Ad as much as I would love to stay for the banquet in honor of our young author and the success of the play, I really must be going."  
  
"Yes of course. Here is the script. Look over it well and I'll see you in the morning for rehearsal."  
  
"Thank you. Good day Monsieur Christian." I turned quickly and almost ran out the door, hugging the script to my chest. Before I left the building I heard Christian say "She reminds me of someone..." I would have loved to wait and see who he was talking about. Of course I new it was me, but I wanted to see what he was going say. But there was one more thing I heard before I went and that was Toulouse' can and his little legs walking quickly towards me.  
  
As soon as I got outside I leaned against the wall. I didn't care if Toulouse found me. Tears slipped out of my eyes, stinging my cheek as the cold air whipped through the veil.  
  
"Why did you do it?" I almost jumped from where I was when I heard his voice.  
  
"Do what?" I asked.  
  
"Left Christian." He said simply.  
  
"Because I need to get back home. I don't feel good. Why should I have stayed?"  
  
"You know what I mean." He contradicted me.  
  
"I'm sorry but you obviously mistake me for someone else."  
  
"I know who you are, Satine. You cannot hide behind that veil forever." My name sounded almost foreign to me. I stayed silent, and then started walking.  
  
"Fine then I will go get Christian and he can see for himself." I turned around to face him.  
  
"And if you do, Toulouse Latrec, it will be the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Do you understand me?"  
  
"That's it I'm going inside!... What do you mean?"  
  
I walked closer to him. "I mean that if you told Christian, I was still alive, that I had faked my death, then it would surely drive him mad. And here is why. If he knew, then he would doubt my love. And I've seen that look on him before. It is one I will not allow him to put on again. He would not understand why I did what I did." I whispered franticly.  
  
"But... you did love him?" He asked timidly.  
  
"Toulouse, I have loved him since I first laid eyes on him. And that love continues just as deeply now, as it did then. Which is why I will not show my true identity." I said this barely above a whisper.  
  
"I won't tell, but you should." With that he turned and left.  
  
I took a step to the door, and stopped. I wanted with all my being to run into his arms. I took a few deep breaths, and turned around; walking slowly away. The only way I managed to get to my house was by telling myself over and over, "He would never forgive you."  
  
"Goodness Mademoiselle you look as if you've seen a ghost! Are you feeling alright?" Asked Mary, looking at me with a wide-eyed expression.  
  
"Oh, I don't know!" I breathed the words.  
  
"Mummy!" I heard my little girl scream. I saw her running towards me and I couldn't help but smile. But at the same time I felt tears at my eyes. When she smiled her eyes lit up like Christians did. I bent down to hug her as she came flying into my arms. Then I noticed the piece of paper she was holding.  
  
"What's this?" I asked her in surprise.  
  
"It's a picture I drew of you and me and Uncle Harold and Aunt Marie." She held up the picture for me to see.  
  
"Who is that on the far side of the page. And who is that next to me?"  
  
"That's the Duke." She said pointing to the figure on the far side of the page. "And I realized that I didn't have a real daddy. So I added him in there." She smiled at me  
  
"Well it's a lovely picture darling." I smiled lovingly at Clare.  
  
"I want to hang it up in your room!" She said excitedly.  
  
"Okay sweetie." I gave her an encouraging smile and she bounded off upstairs.  
  
"What is wrong with you Mademoiselle?" Asked Mary looking at me. My veil was now above my face, revealing how white it was.  
  
"Nothing. I'll be all right. I need to talk to Zidler. Do you know where he is?" I asked. I felt sweat break on my forehead. My heart was racing, I felt jumpy and lightheaded.  
  
"Right here sweet pea! Tell me how does the script look? Are we looking at another major play?" Asked Zidler. His face lit up at the thought of the money that would come poring in. I walked over to him showing the title of the script. "Darling that's wonderful! You don't even need to practice for the part!"  
  
"Harold! Christian is over looking the play! He is here! In London!" I said exasperated.  
  
"You have seen him? You're sure?" Harold asked taking on a serious look.  
  
"Yes! I have seen him with my own eyes! . And he saw me. Though he didn't know it was I! Harold I cannot do this play! He would recognize me in a moment. My past would be revealed! How would Europe like it, if the woman they have fallen in love with used to be a whore! And Christian! It would kill him if he new I was alive. You and I both know that. And the Duke! Oh I don't even want to start with him. Peter will just have to find someone else." For a whole two minutes Harold was silent.  
  
"I've got it! Stay home and practice your lines until the production. We'll say you are sick and that you need stay home. The night of the production I'll get him drunk." But I interrupted.  
  
"No! Harold I can't take it! No more lies! Things don't work this way! Something will happen. We either tell Peter the truth or I will not do the production. I will not be shut up from now until January! I don't think Peter will mind my past. I'm too important to him and this company. Tell him to come over tomorrow. I'll tell him about my past. and about Christian." 


	3. Chapter 3

"Mademoiselle! You have company!" Mary shouted up the stairs.  
  
"Let him in." I said descending down from the staircase. I saw Peter's short form standing in the doorway.  
  
"Gwen! I got your telegram. There was something you wanted to talk to me about?"  
  
"Yes. Come sit in the parlor." We walked in and he seated himself in a large cushioned chair. The servants brought in various snacks. "Peter we've known each other for about three years now, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wrong." I said quickly. "I know much about you and you think you know about me but you don't." He looked at me confused and bemused. It was a very funny look and I would have laughed except for the importance of the information I was getting ready to tell him.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Before I came here I lived in France. A little village outside of Paris. Called Monmarte. I lived in the Moulin Rouge. I am the Sparkling Diamond, Christian's true love, a whore, Satine. There is no way for me to do the production if Christian over sees it. I staged my death to keep him safe and if he found out, he would doubt my love."  
  
"No. there is no way for you to be Satine. Satine died! He wrote it in his book. He held her body in his very arms." Peter said looking at me shocked.  
  
"Harold and I formed a plan. I would act as if I had contracted consumption. We would find a patron. Someone to fund me as I started out becoming a real actress. Then whatever acting company I worked for I would tell them that I was basically a nobody from a small village just outside of Paris, with no experience in acting. Except for the." Peter than interrupted me.  
  
"The plays you would put on for birthdays and Christmases?" I only nodded.  
  
"Nobody new and it was going great. I had fainting spells, I would have a little pouch of dye in the very back of my gum. I would bite down on it and the red dye would spurt out. I started eating less to make myself thinner and look a little more sickly. Then came Christian. A little nobody of a writer who stole the heart of a courtesan. I kept my acts up for Harold's sake so he would leave me alone about mine and Christian's affair behind the Duke's back. I was just getting ready to tell Christian the truth when Harold informed me that the Duke was insanely jealous of Christian. I had to protect him. So I made Christian believe I didn't love him. "In the play when he. he through the money down at me and told me I meant nothing to him as he thought he was nothing to me, I realized how much I had hurt him. And I could never live with the fact that he didn't think that I loved him. The curtain closed and everything was great. Until I saw Harold eyeing me. That was when I new it could never be. So I went through the plan of staging my death. And to make an already long story short here I am with Harold, Marie, and Christian's daughter Clare." I ended dramatically. Silence consumed the room for a two minutes. I looked straight at Peter with my crystalline eyes. He finally spoke.  
  
"So I guess I shouldn't go get him from the buggy." I looked at him with big eyes.  
  
"He's here?" I asked standing up, walking over to the window. Sure enough there he was waiting patiently for Peter to come get him.  
  
"He wanted to talk to Harold about something. And wanted to get better aquatinted with the leading actress."  
  
"Oh my god. Peter you have to go. He can't see me!." I turned around facing him.  
  
"Darling just go put a veil on. Like the one you wore yesterday. You're a great actress and an incredible liar. I think you can pull it off." To my surprise he didn't say this sarcastically. It was almost as if he held me in higher respect for being able to keep my lie this long. I rolled my eyes at him and ran up the steps. I heard the front door open then close. And I heard it open and close again. This time I heard Christians voice. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could feel wetness already form in my eyes. Slowly I stepped down the stairs. My heart beat so loudly under my chest I could have sworn the whole house heard it.  
  
"Ahh hear she comes." I heard Harold's voice say. "You have met Gwen before, have you not Christian?"  
  
"I met her yesterday. But only for a short time." He responded.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry for my abrupt disappearance yesterday, Christian. I had to get home to take care of my child." Almost as if planned I heard Clare's feet pitter-pattering down the hall way and to the top of the steps.  
  
"Mummy! Who's here? Is it for me?" She asked running down the stairs. I grabbed for her hand but she slithered past me. I stood there frozen to the spot. I grasped the railing as Clare ran into the parlor straight to Christian. She looked at him smiling until she really looked at him. For a moment she stood almost dazed, as he looked at her and as the rest of the room stood or sat in terror.  
  
"Who are you?" I heard her whisper to him? "Are you the one in love with mummy?" I saw her take one small finger and touched the outside of his eye.  
  
"I'm afraid I don't know your mummy. Besides doesn't your daddy love her?" His voice was quiet but traveled across the room.  
  
"She said he did."  
  
"Clare! What on earth are you talking about? Come with Auntie Marie and go play dolls. Or you can take a walk outside to the park. It's a lovely day."  
  
"But mummy I want to stay here!" Her lip slipped out and gave me a puppy dog look. I could almost imagine Christian's brain going back to the first time I ever talked to him. Pouting because he wouldn't dance with me. Damn she looked like me! I could see it in his expression how he was thinking back. I walked over quickly picking her up.  
  
"You're talking nonsense, love." Marie quickly came over taking Clare into her arms. "Let's go buy you a new doll. What about the one you saw in the window of the toy shop yesterday?"  
  
"No!" Whined Clare. "Lets go dance and sing. And then after that read me a book?"  
  
"Yes darling. Let's go do that!" Marie carried Clare off upstairs. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~  
  
The reason for Christian's visit was to talk to Harold and I about my part as Satine (Myself) He wanted to make sure that I was the actress for the job. When he left relief and grief flooded my system.  
  
"He'll recognize me Harold." I warned. "I cannot practice in front of him."  
  
"Darling, there is a simple solution to that. Just say you need to stay home with your child. You will practice here all the songs and dances. I mean you know how the whole thing goes. As do I. I can help you and so can Marie." It seemed logical enough of an excuse. And besides, I had wanted to be with my daughter more.  
  
"But what about opening night? Christian will surely be there to over look things." I pointed out.  
  
"I told you. I'll get him drunk and he can miss the performance. Or take a sleeping pill."  
  
"Harold!" I said warningly.  
  
"Darling don't worry about Christian. Peter and I will figure something out. Meanwhile, hadn't you better get ready for the Duke? He arrives soon. And he plans on having a party."  
  
"I think I'll be sick."  
  
"You were sick last time."  
  
I sighed and looked grudgingly up at Harold. "What shall I wear?" I surrendered.  
  
"Marie picked out a lovely dress for you. Its up in your closet."  
  
I got up and walked up the staircase to my room, feeling absolutely positively horrible. I saw the dress on my bed and sighed. By the looks of it, it was another low necked, squeeze - your - guts - out, dress. The dress itself was a luscious cream color. The bodice sculpted my figure perfectly and then flared out nicely from the waste. The dress was spaghetti strapped and dipped down below my neckline. My corset pushed my breasts up as far up as possible. A pale blue sash was tied around my waste. A shear fabric covered the creamy silk all over. And imbedded in the blue fabric, were tiny diamonds. The diamonds also lined the straps of my dress. Silk blue gloves ran up my arm (With diamond cuffs at my wrists), four inches past my elbow and cream high heals covered my feet. To top it all off, my hair was pulled up high on top of my head in a gathering ponytail. Curls spiraled out of it and a diamond scrunchy held it in place along with a small diamond Tiara. At my chest lay a gaudy diamond necklace and on my ears hung a straight line of diamond earrings. I sparkled in every way I turned.  
  
"Satine, look happy. The Duke will be displeased if you are not your regular self." Marie said gently.  
  
"Mummy your dress is pretty!" She touched one of the diamonds in the fabric.  
  
"Thank you Darling." I smiled down at her. She smiled up at me. And with that smile I was able to will myself downstairs into the ball room. 


	4. Chapter 4

Confined in my sparkly splendor, I walked down the steps to the ballroom.   
  
"Satine!" Satine!" I heard my name being called in a lisped voice. I turned, my eyes bulging out.   
  
"Toulouse! What in the hell are you doing here?!" I asked quietly, yet exasperatingly.   
  
  
"I heard there was a party." He smiled sheepishly at me, obviously drunk.   
  
  
"By who? If you're caught here..." I trailed off.   
  
  
"Your producer was talking about it. Peter? Right? Oh by the way, I saw the Duke. He's going to ask you to marry him."   
  
  
"What?! What are you talking about, Toulouse? Oh never mind. Your to drunk to get a straight answer out of anyway. Just go, the Duke does not want anybody associating with Christian here. He doesn't even know that Christian is here in London." I said that last part more to myself.   
  
"Well you're no fun, Satine. Come on, let me stay just for a while?"   
  
  
"No! Go now, and don't call me Satine in front of everybody. The girl they know as Satine is dead." Toulouse gave me a little pout and then walked out. I prayed he didn't tell Christian who I was.   
  
  
I walked on into the ballroom, thinking about what Toulouse said. I dreaded seeing the Duke. I felt a lump in my throat, I wanted to cry right then and there.   
  
  
"Ahh! My dear! How lovely it is of you to grace us with your presence. You look beautiful." The Duke smiled at me and then walked over to me, putting his arms around me. "I can't wait to see how much you've missed me tonight." He said silently to me. I smiled at him a very week smile and soon he had me locked in a kiss. The hairs on my neck rose, and I shivered; despite the heat of the room.  
I pulled apart, "Darling lets not make a scene. Besides I have to meet the guests." I walked away from him, walking elegantly around the room welcoming guests. The Duke and I danced. Dinner came and went. Desert was getting ready to end when the Duke stood up.   
  
"I have an announcement everybody. I have an announcement." I wasn't really listening. I just sort of smiled. "It has been three years since I first met S... Gwen." He quickly fixed his mistake. "Because of my duties in France I have neglected to stay by her side as much as I would like. But now that I have gotten most everything worked out I will be able to be with her more often. Gwen Meire, will you marry me?" My smiling face faded and I looked quickly up at the duke. My eyes wide, my hand at my chest. My mouth went dry, my breathing got heavier and the weight of my dress seemed to suffocate me . He then produced a gold ring with a large diamond. For lack of better words I simply said,   
  
"Duke, what a surprise." He smiled down at me with his pinched smile stuck into place. I looked over to see Harold looking at me as if to say "What are you waiting for?!"   
  
"Yes." I breathed the words silently. I was hardly able to smile, but I managed to do so. Everybody cheered. The Duke engaged me into a long kiss. I broke free.   
  
"Duke, this dress is rather tight if you wouldn't mind if I went to go rest. I promise I'll return as soon as possible."   
  
"Yes of course. Would you like me to come with you?"   
  
"No!" I said a little to quickly. He nodded, and I walked out as fast as I could. I ran up the stairs to my room. Clare was drawing a picture on my bed.   
  
"Mummy! What are you doing here?" She asked getting off the bed running to me.   
  
"Clare, love, were going to go out tonight."   
  
"Where?!" She jumped up excitedly. "Where mummy where?!"   
  
"Well, I thought we would go to the park for a little while and play there. And then we could go to a Hotel. And I'll let you stay up late and we can eat ice-cream." I explained this as I started to pack some stuff up.   
  
"Really mummy? We can do all that?!"   
  
"Yes darling of course!"   
  
"YAY!" She shouted in delight.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Clare and I quickly dressed in warmer clothes and I packed some clothes that would do for until tomorrow.   
I decided that I just needed to get out for a while. I would say that Peter called for me to give me information about the play. He hadn't come to the Duke's party because he was sick.   
  
In 15 minutes we were creeping down the stairs and out the door. Clare was so excited she could hardly keep it in. You could see it written all over her face. Once outside, she skipped ahead of me, but always looked back to make sure she didn't lose me. She skipped all the way to the park and even when we got there.   
  
One time when looking back at me she ran straight into a man and bounced off his stomach onto the ground, landing on her butt with an 'oomph'. The man gasped, I ran to her as fast as I could.   
  
"I'm so sorry!" He squatted down to Clare's level. And when he did the moon illuminated his face. I saw it was Christian. I strangled a gasp, and fumbled for my veil, which lay atop my head.   
  
"Clare, darling, are you alright?" I looked at her with a worrying mothers look, as I also squatted down to her level.  
  
"Ah, Clare! We meet again!' Christian smiled broadly, my heart skipped a beat, and Clare's sniffling seemed to melt away.  
  
"And Ms. Meire, it is a pleasure to meet you again too." He said as he lifted his daughter into his arms with one hand, and helped me up with another.   
  
"Yes, it was wonderful to bump into you again." Silence seemed to fill the air, except for the far off voices of children still at play.   
  
"Mummy! Can Christian come with us to eat!" Even in the dark I saw Clare's large, gray eyes get big. "Monsieur Christian, will you please come with us?" At this her eyes narrowed down along with her brow, as her lip pulled into a pout.   
  
"Yes, mummy can I come?" He asked jokingly. Damn I hate when he pleads with me. My thoughts turned to the time in the elephant when he asked me to love him. I remembered his face as he swung from the post on the elephant's back smiling and singing. "Just one night, just one night"   
  
"Yes of course, if he isn't busy." I said without thinking. Damn! Well I couldn't take back the offer now. "Would you like to join us?" I asked.   
  
"I would love to." He said smiling at Clare and then at me. I could almost imagine my heart just melting inside of my body.  
  
"It won't be anything fancy. I had just planned on going to a cafe or something." I said as we walked.   
  
"Oh that's fine. I wasn't really in the mood for a fancy restaurant anyway."   
  
"Christian, why do your eyes look like mine? I was looking in the mirror today. And I noticed I had big gray eyes. And in the middle..." she paused for a second thinking of the word, "There's a starburst! Just around the black part. And I remember your eyes, they look like mine. Why is that?" Clare asked. I spoke out as soon as she finished saying her last word.   
  
"Clare, I'm sure a lot of people have eyes like that. Stop talking nonsense." I said. Christian eyed me, and I could feel my cheeks get hot under his gaze.   
  
"You're mothers right, I'm sure." Christian said backing me up. I looked at Clare, and I could tell that wasn't the answer she wanted.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The rest of the night (until Clare and I retired to the hotel) Christian and I talked like we were best friends. We talked about my latest productions, about my life before I became a famous actress. (which really was hard, because I had to lie to him) We talked about his books, his inspiration (which was Satine/me) and his childhood. Most of which I already knew about, but I listened intently, just to hear his voice again. Through out the whole thing I kept my veil on. I new he wanted to know why I kept it on, but being the incredibly sweet boy he was, he didn't say anything about it. Clare fell asleep about half way through our conversation.   
  
"Gwen... I can't help but say. You remind me so much of Satine..." He said looking into my eyes, through the veil. I grew uncomfortable. I looked down smiling.   
  
"Yes, but that cannot be." I breathed. "Your Satine is dead." My voice was shaking terribly, so it only came as a whisper.  
  
"Yes... of course." He said solemnly.   
  
"I'm sorry everybody but the Cafe is closing in two minutes. We need everyone to finish what they're eating and start on out." Announced the shopkeeper.  
  
"I guess we better head on." He smiled at me, "And what about his one?" He asked, his head looking down the sleeping Clare laying on his chest.  
  
"Well were heading for a hotel..."   
  
"Would you like me to escort you?" He asked. "I can carey her."  
  
"I would love to have you as an escort." I could have smacked myself for flirting so much.   
We walked to a near by hotel. At the entrance he handed Clare to me.   
  
"Thank you for a wonderful night." He said. "I'm afraid that otherwise I would have been quite bored."   
  
"Oh it was my pleasure." I returned.   
  
"Good night, Gwen."   
  
"Good night, Christian."   
  
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
The next day Clare and I walked home. The Duke was upset, but I told him that Peter had called for me about the production and that we had gone over a few lines. It was late by then so Clare and I stayed at a near by Hotel.   
My thoughts wondered to last night. I basically said yes to living forever in hell with the devil. The wedding was set for February 23rd. It was early but the Duke said that he wanted to get married as soon as possible. I wished for three things. One was to have Christian love me again and for us to run away. The second was that my fake death had been real. And the third thing I wished for was to throw up on the Duke like I had imagined on the train only 3-4 years ago. My life seemed doomed to eternal darkness. Void of any happiness. A place where love does not exist, and only lust resides. But that's where my story starts to change. Love would re-enter my life. And that void would be filled with happiness, love, song, and hope. 


	5. Chapter 5

I practiced at home with Harold everyday. Peter would come over one a week to inform me of things that were going on in the play, changes he made, and other stuff. It was soon time for dress rehearsal something I needed to show up for. Peter didn't tell Christian when this was. So I was able to rehearse without him finding out. Peter filled the rest of the cast in about my absence. Everybody thought it was sweet of me to spend time with my little girl and didn't say much more about it.  
  
Amazingly enough Harold didn't have to get Christian drunk on the night of the production. Christian said he couldn't show up for the production, that the memories were haunting to him. I didn't realize how much the memories would haunt me either. Even in the happier parts of the play I was ready to cry. The tears came freely when John (The guy who was playing Christian, who is gay) told me he didn't love me. Everybody said my roll as Satine was my most convincing yet. Well duh, I wonder why? The whole week it was showing there was a full house, and at the end you could hear sobbing and nose blowing from the ladies. 5 out of 7 times John and I got an encore to perform "Come what May" at the end. This production made the most money in the history of the studio. And in Honor of the success Peter decided to host.  
  
"A party! Let it be a new tradition! I want you all to dress up. It will be on Saturday next week, starting at 7:00. Bring your families and friends and food." He smiled and everybody laughed. He congratulated everyone and presented me with a dozen of red roses and a check, which was undoubtedly more than anybody else's.  
  
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~* *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~  
  
I woke the next morning to my child running into my room, and bouncing on the bed. I picked my head up to look at her smiling face, lighted by the sun penetrating in through the curtains.  
  
"Good morning mummy."  
  
"Good morning love." I smiled at her. She cocked her head to the side and smiled back then crawled over into my arms.  
  
"Mummy, will you sing to me?"  
  
"What do you want me to sing?" She was quiet in thought until she said,  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Okay. Never knew I could feel like this It's like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Everyday I'm loving you more and more Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing Tellin' me to give you everything! Seasons may change, winter to spring But I love you, until the end of time.  
  
Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day!  
  
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you And there's no mountain to high No river to wide Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and storms may collide But I love you, until the end of time  
  
Come what may, come what may I will love you Until my dying day!  
  
I finished the last note with a tear in my eye. It was the first time that Clare had heard the song. She looked at me kind of dazed as if there was something about it.  
  
"That was pretty Mummy."  
  
"You liked that?" I asked. She nodded a smiled at me. "I'm glad. Your father used to sing it to me when I was feeling bad. And I would sing it to him when he was feeling bad. " There was silence until I remembered about the party.  
  
"Clare there is a party next week at the studio. And Peter invited you."  
  
"I'm going to a party?!"  
  
"Mhm." I nodded. Clare clapped her hands in delight.  
  
"Can I stay up as long as I want?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yay! Will Christian be there?"  
  
"I guess. I'm not sure." Totally switching gears she asked excitedly,  
  
"Can we go pick out a dress now?"  
  
"Of course! Let's get dressed and eat." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Saturday came, and I was thankful that was the day the Duke left. Clare was bouncing off the walls the whole day. Every hour she asked if she could put the dress on. Finally I relented two hours before it was time to go. Once totally done up, she looked like a doll. The dress was satin in a dark blue color. Pearls and diamonds were embedded into lace roses on the bodice and around the flared out into the dress with the help of the very fluffy petticoat. She had white designed stockings, with white (slightly) healed boots. (Which she was very proud of) She had decorative gloves that went up her arms. I put a blue satin choker at her neck that had a single pearl hanging down. Her hair was done up high with dozens of small red curls that sat atop her head, a pearl clip holding it all in place. I let her put some blush and a light colored lipstick on, which made her very happy. After she looked at herself in the mirror, the rest of the night she was dancing around, twirling and curtseying. She only stopped to admire my dress, which was a midnight blue. The bodice was covered with diamonds especially around my bosom. It hardly flared out, but fell dramatically down the floor with a long train following me. I put on matching gloves that ran all the way up my arm and were again held by diamond cuffs. My hair was put half up, half down. The half that was up was braided into a bun with little curls falling down around it, and was held in place by a large diamond clip and by my veil. I put only a simple diamond necklace at my throat.  
  
Clare couldn't keep still in the carriage. She tapped her toes, bobbed her head, squirmed in her seat, but being ever careful not to wrinkle her dress. I smiled to myself how cute she was and I couldn't help but notice how the blue flattered her eyes and her red hair. When we arrived, Clare was first to stand up and had her hand on the door handle ready to burst from the carriage as soon as it stopped. Harold, Marie, and I chuckled lightly.  
  
As soon as Clare was in the studio she scoped the whole place looking for Christian. I saw him come up behind her with out he noticing and swoop her off her feet. She giggled and laughed smiling up at him. My heart about broke in two when I saw father and daughter gazing into each other's eyes. I sighed wanting to be the family we should be. and yet couldn't be.  
  
"Mommy I found Christian!" He said looking over his shoulder.  
  
"Yes you did darling, but I think what you mean is he found you." Christian laughed at this and Clare did too, which caused me to laugh.  
  
"Come on Christian let's go dance." She tugged at his shirt and he picked her up at the waste swinging her to the lively music. Every one from the production was there, plus their families. The whole place had a warm gay feeling to it. And I'm sure I would have enjoyed myself better, if not for the constant pattering of my heart when Christian neared. If not for the way he smiled so that my knees went week. If not for the constant voice in my head that seemed to scream "Show him you care, love him, tell him." If not for the thought of becoming the Dukes. forever.  
  
I was thankful that this party was more of a buffet than a sit down and eat thing. It might look odd that I was eating with my veil still in place. Though Peter would probably have a toast for the success of the production. I was lost in thought on how I could get Christian out of the room for when Peter asked me to sing Come what May in front of everybody, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Christian standing Clare hanging off his arm.  
  
"I was wondering if you cared to dance. it seems this little one is spoken for." I then noticed the little boy who was hiding behind Christian's back. Clare smiled toothily at me and turned jerking the little boy off his feet to the dance floor. I couldn't help but laugh. "So will you give me the pleasure of dancing with you?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
"I hate to be rude, but you know I've never seen you without a veil on. I mean that's fine with me, but I was just noticing that the other day. I've never seen your face."  
  
"Well there isn't that much to see. I have eyes a nose and a mouth just the same as everyone else. I suppose I just prefer the veil so in public nobody knows its me." I said as if I was stating the obvious.  
  
"I think your hiding something from me." He said grinning. Damn it he knows me to well!  
  
"And what makes you think that?"  
  
"The fact that everybody here knows you so there is no need to hide from anybody. are you hiding from somebody?"  
  
"No of course not. But you see if I took down the veil than my hair would fall down and that would just be a mess."  
  
"But you could just lift it up, you don't have to take the whole thing down." He pointed out.  
  
"Yes but then the veil would cover up the clip that hold my hair in place. I do think it is lovely." I honestly couldn't think of a better excuse. I could care less about the damned diamond clip. I saw he was eyeing me trying to see through the veil. But all he could make out were the obvious facial features.  
  
"I see." The next turn of events happened so fast, I could scarcely remember them. But I'll never forget the way I felt. Terror mixed with anxiety and throw in some relief with a little more terror. and that's about what I felt. I felt Clare hitting on my back trying to get my attention. I broke free from Christian's grasp on my waste and on my hand to turn around. But Clare was closer to me than I thought and I practically tripped over her, she lost her balance and grabbed for the first thing her little hands could reach; my veil. I felt the whole thing fall off and along with it the clip holding my hair in place. A wave of auburn fell into my face, I felt strong hands, Christians hands, pull back on my waste so I wouldn't topple over on top of her. When I had my balance Clare was on the floor gasping because the fall had caused her to lose her breath. I forgot everything and bent down to hold her, as did Christian. I looked to the side to see Christian staring straight at me. I felt that not only were his eyes trying to take me in but his mind and heart too. Here stood the woman he held in his arms while she died. Here she was in his face alive and well with a daughter. He said nothing, but his face said everything. I couldn't breath; I didn't want to breathe. I felt the tears brimming up. They felt like acid falling on my cheeks and I felt like I was going to choke on the lump that seemed to be growing in my throat. It was then, reality hit me. Stumbling I got up and ran out. I could hardly see as tears blinded me. I pushed the door open and felt the icy wind falling over me. I kept running until I found a small ally. There, I let everything out. Sobs wracked my body and my breathing came in gasps as I tried to gain control of myself. Over and over I played that haunting look on Christian's face. What had I done to him? How could I be such a fool!? I yelled at myself.  
  
"I want the truth." I gasped and turned to see Christian standing there. His eyes were fiery. Like the time he had come to "pay his bill"  
  
"What?" I asked tears streaming from my face.  
  
"Who are you? Are you Gwen? Are you Satine? Are you a ghost come back from the dead to haunt me?"  
  
"I am Satine." I cried to him. I wanted to run to him and jump into his arms and have him cuddle me love me like never before, but I stayed content with the brick wall behind me.  
  
"How?" He asked, stepping closer.  
  
"What do you want from me?" I asked not answering his question.  
  
"I want only to be free of you, as you are obviously free of me." He said looking intently into my eyes.  
  
"I will never be free of you, Christian. I love you more than life itself. I have loved you more deeply than imaginable. And that love will not weaken, it will not fail, and it will not stop."  
  
"You were dead."  
  
"I was dead to protect you!"  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes pleading.  
  
"The Duke. he. he would have tried to kill you! He was going to kill you unless I slept with him after opening night. You would have tried to fight for me and I couldn't let you. I couldn't let you die."  
  
"So you "died"?" He asked uncomprehendingly.  
  
"It was all a big plan Harold and I had for me to become famous. When you walked away that night and you thought." I gasped trying to get a hold of myself, "You thought that I didn't love you." I trailed off looking at him. "I couldn't let you believe that. And When I realized that no matter what the Duke would still take revenge on you. So I went on with the plan Harold had. And I've been in London ever since under the alias Gwen Meire."  
  
"And Clare?"  
  
"She has her daddies eyes." I looked at him and forced a smile.  
  
"Satine tell me right now, do you love me?" He looked at me slowly getting closer. I nodded closing my eyes as more tears slipped from them. "Have you always loved me?" I nodded again, he was now directly in front of me almost touching.  
  
"Look at me and say it." He whispered. I looked at him with my azure eyes and I let the depth of his fall into mine.  
  
"I love you Christian. I always have and I always will."  
  
"Satine I love you. I always have and I always will." With that our lips locked together in a binding kiss. Poured with love and emotion. Passion radiated from out link. I felt his tears against my cheek and my tears were against his. He broke apart for one moment only to sing,  
  
"Come what may." 


	6. Chapter 6

I broke from our kiss in frustration as I tugged at the ring on my finger.  
  
"Satine?" He looked at me confused.  
  
"Christian. I." Unable to finish my sentence I held my hand in front of his face.  
  
"But. Who? When?!" His eyes searched my face for an answer. I looked down not wanting to meet his eyes.  
  
"The Duke. He proposed and I could do nothing but accept. He still has the power over my life." Christian said nothing but seemed to think, I looked dared a look at his face. I felt him take my hand and in one movement he slipped the ring off my finger.  
  
"We'll do what we had originally planned. Let's run away together. Me you and Clare."  
  
"Christian."  
  
"We'll do it tomorrow. Get Clare packed I'll get everything I have out of the bank and we can move anywhere, away from the Duke." I looked in his eyes and in them I found strength and love. This crazy plan seemed at last possible. And the thought of being a family burned so badly in my heart that I would do anything to make it come true.  
  
"Yes. Yes, we'll leave tomorrow." We kissed briefly and then walked together back to the party seeing as it was 30 degrees outside and my arms were bare. We stopped at the doors of the studio.  
  
"Meet me here tomorrow at 8:00 P.M. I'll be waiting with tickets. Where do you want to go?" I smiled up at him. "India." He smiled at the irony.  
  
"Then India it is. But for now I have to go get everything ready. Remember 8:00 tomorrow, goodbye my love." He took me into his arms and kissed me one last time and then departed. I ached for 8 tomorrow and I did not turn in until he was totally out of sight.  
  
Once I was inside I scoped the place for Clare. She was sitting on a chair still crying for me with Marie Next to her. I walked quickly over wanting to leave the party as soon as possible.  
  
"Clare, darling it's time to go. Something has come up and we need to leave now." Marie looked at me questioningly. I only shook my head at her slightly as if to say don't ask.  
  
"But," She sniffed, "I want to stay at the party!" She looked at me with teary eyed, pleading eyes.  
  
"Darling, please cooperate with mummy. We need to talk." I bent down to her level whispering, "Its about Christian and your father." She looked at me very confused and finally relented to take my hand and leave.  
  
"Gwen, what is going on?" Marie stood up looking at me.  
  
"All will be understood by tomorrow. Tell Harold I've gone on home to attend some business at home and to put Clare to bed, because she looks very tired." Clare looked at me disapprovingly to say she wasn't tired in the last bit. "I'll have someone bring the buggy back to pick you and Harold up. It doesn't look like he's ready to leave yet. Do explain my absence." I looked over at Harold's direction to see him laughing and drinking. Marie nodded and, with Clare in hand and coats on, we walked out the door.  
  
"Mummy why did we have to leave?" She asked angrily as we stepped through the door.  
  
"I'll explain in my room. Come on." We walked up the staircase and into my room. I shut and locked the door. Maybe if I hadn't been in such haste and if I hadn't had the curtains drawn on my bed then I would have noticed the person sitting on it. I grabbed a suitcase and a bunch of Clare's clothes and mine, while I explained everything. I explained how her father and I fell in love and that there was a bad man who also fell in love with me. How, to help save her father I had to act like I didn't love him so that he wouldn't get hurt. I told him I lied to him and I moved far from him and lived with the bad man we know as the Duke.  
  
"Then your father moved here. And I wasn't expecting it and I still needed to protect him and I was also afraid that he wouldn't love me anymore. But he found me out.Do you understand so far?" There was a pause and I could almost see her little brain working out all the details. Finally she nodded. "Okay, so when your father found me out we cleared everything and we decided that we were going to move far away from here. Now can you think of who your father is?"  
  
"But mummy you said papa was dead."  
  
"Clare, just forget everything I've told you about your father. Now who do you think it is?" She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's Christian darling. Your father is Christian." She looked up at me and smiled broadly clapping her hands. I smiled at her glee until I heard a voice behind me.  
  
"Satine, that is truly a very romantic story." I gasped and turn slowly around. There the Duke was sitting on my bed looking very peevishly at me.  
  
"Duke. I. I didn't see you."  
  
"Obviously." He slowly got up. "I had just gotten to France when I decided to come back. See I also decided February was a long wait. So I figured I would come back and we could go ahead and be married." I grabbed Clare's hand she looked at him fearfully. There was a mad glare in his eyes. He wouldn't take his eyes off me and then off her. I backed up every step he took closer. "But now I see my love is not returned, and my daughter is not my daughter but the daughter of a penniless writer. So Satine this whole thing has been just a big act?" I said nothing and he raised his hand to smack me but instead smacked Clare. It was an earth-shattering smack that almost seemed to echo across the room. That half of her face was read and if the smack was loud her scream was louder.  
  
"Clare!" I looked at the Duke, who looked straight back at me. Clare started to crawl over to me until the Duke took one step in front of her. "Why? Why won't you just let me be!" I started sobbing and screaming at his face. "Why won't you let me be happy!?"  
  
"I've tried. But you seem to be more interested with that damned writer." He said calmly. He stood next to Clare and bumped into her causing her to lose balance and falling flat on her side. She cried more and I whimpered. "Why won't you just be a good girl and love me? Hmm?"  
  
"Mummy." Her lip trembled as more tears pored out.  
  
"Stop, please stop! She's not the one your mad at!" He looked at me, and then at her. Clare looked in fear up at him. He reached down and grabbed her hair in his fist and pulled her up. She screamed loudly and I tried to grab her but the Duke took one hand and shoved me back against the wall, knocking the breath out of me.  
  
"Your right Satine, I'm not mad at her. But this is how I show you want torment and pain you've put me through. I love you Satine."  
  
"Your incapable of love! The only thing you know how to do is lust after someone!" I spat the words at him. "If you really loved me, you would let down my child and leave us be! For the only thing a lover wants for his love is to be happy!" He continued to hold Clare with a tight grip in her hair.  
  
"Then why wont you let me be happy?"  
  
"Because I don't love you!" I screamed at him. "I never have and I never will!"  
  
"I don't think I would say those things if I were you. You see, I have your daughter and you don't. to say things simply. If you refuse me, then Christians little baby girl will be no more. Meeting him at the studio tomorrow would mean instant death for her. Now I purpose that you come with me, we elope and then she's safe and we live happily ever after. If you refuse, I have a gun in my jacket. I'll cap her before she knows what in the hell is going on, and I'll find your lover boy too. Now darling, what is your choice?"  
  
I began to sob aloud. I looked at my little girl, pain and fear etched on her face.  
  
"Fine!" I screamed. "But know this Duke! Our marriage will never truly be binding, because whatever word comes from my mouth will not be true! I will hate you until I die! And the only reason for doing this is to save the man I truly love and my child!" Said the words with as much venom as I could pore into them.  
  
"Now love I know you don't truly feel that way. Tomorrow you will be the happiest woman alive. Shall we depart?" He roughly let go of Clare, she fell to the ground crying in pain. I was able to go to her but the Duke quickly stopped me. "She will be a bother leave her here or you will wish you had never touched her."  
  
"Mummy?" She mewed still crying. Her arms extended for me to pick her up. The Duke looked at me. I looked at her.  
  
"Don't say anything, just keep walking." He pushed me along.  
  
"Mummy?! Mummy up! Mummy up!" She screamed at me. I wanted more than anything to go pick her up but her life depended on my ignoring her. "Mummy!" I could hear her cries as I walked down the hallway down the steps and even out of the door it seemed I could hear her.  
  
There was one thing I knew for sure. If I married him, and he killed Christian and Clare. I would surely kill myself. So I vowed that I would take my life if he took there's. 


	7. Chapter 7

What, you may ask, did I feel, as I walked down the empty isle to my husband to be? To this day no one emotion sticks out of my head. A feeling of nausea, grief, distress, terror and loathing all mixed in one was about what I felt.  
  
The Duke had gotten a priest to do it after a large check was handed to him.  
  
"Do you, Gwen Nicole Meire, take this man to be your husband. To love and to cherish through sickness and in health? Do you?"  
  
"I." I could only whisper the first part as tears streamed down my face.  
  
"Do." Concluded the Duke for me. The priest gave him a confused look and pronounced us man and wife. The Duke pulled me into a harsh kiss. Rage flowed within me like I had never felt before. He took a tight grasp on my hand and walked me quickly out of the isle.  
  
When we got home, my dress was already half way torn. Revealing my corset. My daughter's cries were no more, but I could still hear her in my head, crying at the top of her lungs for me to hold her. I later found out that Mary found her and got her to cry herself to sleep.  
  
It seemed the whole night the Duke made love to me. I whimpered Christian's name over and over. I pleaded with the Duke to stop. The physical pain was nothing. But the emotional pain was enough to drive one insane. I woke up with the Duke sleeping soundly next to me. Light shown through the balcony window. I got up quickly but silently pulling on a robe, and walked to Harold and Marie's room, where I assumed Clare was sleeping.  
  
I peered down at her face. On one side I saw a dark bruise on her forehead from when the Duke knocked her over. I lightly touched the tender swollen bump sighing.  
  
"Mummy?" Her eyes opened.  
  
"Yes, love?"  
  
"Why did you leave me?" her voice was cracking, and tears were in her eyes.  
  
"Darling, this isn't the best place to talk. Come, let's get you dressed and we'll go see Christian, okay?" She nodded and threw her arms up for me to hold her. I picked her up and held her little body against mine.  
  
"Mummy, will the Duke take me away from you?" I looked into her face and said,  
  
"No Clare. Nobody will ever take you away from me." I whispered to her. She hugged me close and sighed in my hair.  
  
"Clare, stay our here. I'll be right back with some clothes okay?" I set her down outside my door. She nodded, rubbing her eyes. I quietly opened the door. The Duke was still sleeping soundly. I swiftly yet quietly grabbed a pair of Clare's clothes and some of my own. I also grabbed one of the finest dresses I own to sell for money. I looked into the Dukes pants pocket and found his wallet. I at first started taking out the money, until I put it back in and took the whole god damned thing. I silently crept back out; the duke still sleeping like a baby.  
  
"Alright lets go." We both walked as quietly as we could down the steps. Once there I got Clare dressed and myself too. We put our coats, gloves, and hats on and walked out the door closing it silently behind us. We walked with a sense of urgency. I then realized I had no idea where Christian was staying. If he was in a hotel, an apartment, or if he bought a house here in London. I new I couldn't go to the studio that would be the first place the Duke would look. I knew the second would be the train station but at least there were places where I could hide there until 8:00. And then there was the matter of my marriage to the Duke. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about being the bride of that horrid man. I looked at the ring that was on my finger and franticly tried to get it off, while walking. It came loose and as soon as it did, I through it out into the streets as hard as I could. I never wanted to set eyes on that ring again, for it was a sign of my binding to the Duke.  
  
We walked hopelessly around the train station, hoping to find Christian. If I only knew where he was staying! I decided to risk going to the studio to see if I could figure anything out. So we headed back to the studio, despite Clare's whines about her feet and legs hurting.  
  
"Mummy there's a note on the door." Clare noticed it before I did. On the studio doors there was a small piece of paper slipped between the two doors.  
  
"Satine love, Your disappearance has greatly displeased me. But luckily I figured out where Christian was before you. If you ever want to see him again, I suggest you go back home right now and I'll give Warner a call to let the boy go. You have until 12:00 A.M. to return to me. Love, Your husband, the Duke." I looked at the time on my watch. 11:55. I only had 5 minutes to get back home.  
  
"Come on Clare!" I grabbed her hand and practically flung her off her feet. I ran as fast as I could with a little girl in tow. The cold winter air stung both our faces, slowing Clare down a bit. Not to mention she hadn't eaten hardly at all that day and she had been on her feet since 7:00 in the morning. I opened the door and flung it shut.  
  
"Duke! If you harm Christian in anyway!." He was sitting in the parlor the phone in hand.  
  
"Hang on Warner." He put the receiver down. "Satine, you are one minute late." He looked at me as if I was a child being punished. "Warner, proceed."  
  
"No! I beg of you! Stop! Please!" I heard a shot on the other end, and then a hard clunk on the floor. I said nothing, but my mouth gaped open in disbelieving shock. I shut my eyes hard and let the tears burn like acid, down my cheek.  
  
"Love, there's no need for tears. The barrier between us has been broken. Never again will Christian haunt you with his words and love songs. So cry not in sadness but in joy, for now nothing is in our way." A rage of passion flowed through me like I had never felt before.  
  
"You bastard! I hope you rot in hell for what you have done to me! You have ruined my life! You've taken away my only love! Your stupid to think that I would love you after everything you have done to me! I have never hated anyone with such a passion, as I have hated you!" I spat the words at him. His face was immobile. I continued. "Even in death my love for Christian remains. And do you see this!?" I waved my hand in front of his face to show my ring-less ring finger. "This is proof that I will never love you!"  
  
"This will all soon pass, darling." I could say no more. Every ounce of physical and emotion energy left my body. All I could do was cry my anger out. My beloved Christian was dead, in some hotel room. I tried to keep myself from imagine him lying on the floor with scarlet blood poring from his body. But the image creeped into my brain.  
  
"No." I said breathing it. All I could do was sink to the floor, hang my head and cry. But my tears were in vain, for they would not bring Christian back.  
  
"Mummy. What's going to happen?" I looked at my child. Her eyes stared at me. Those innocent eyes. what I would give to keep that innocence from being taken away. My jaded eyes, met her veiled innocent ones.  
  
"I don't know, love." I opened my arms to hug her, and she ran into them. I grasped her tightly. I felt her body tremble slightly as her eye's glanced at the Duke. "I won't let anything hurt you." I whispered into her ear. Again she cast a fearful glance at the Duke and laid her head on my shoulder. 


	8. Chapter 8

"Now, I have to return to France to attend the business. I'll be back in two weeks time." I continued to cry but thoughts of escape were quickly coming alive in my head. "But, to make sure you don't run away from me. I will need some kind of a promise from you. Or." He looked at Clare. I quickly saw what he was insinuating.  
  
"No!" I held her tighter in my arms.  
  
"Yes, I think I'll take Clare with me to France. I would take you also, love but everybody thinks your dead. Some problems might arise. You have 15 minutes to get her packed. I'm leaving in 20. Somebody make sure Warner is on his way and prepare a buggy for me."  
  
"You can't take her." I said silently.  
  
"Satine, she's with me whether you like it or not. I'll take her either by force or you can hand her over silently and calmly. Things don't have to be this way, darling, if I could just trust you." I ignored this statement and picked Clare up.  
  
"She'll be ready in 10 minutes. And if you hurt her, I swear to god I will kill you in the worst way I can conjure up in my head." With that I turned and left.  
  
"Mummy. I don't want to go with the Duke." She said as we walked downstairs. Her hand grabbed my skirt tightly, her lip was already sticking out.  
  
"Go on darling. I'll see you in two weeks, I'm sure the Duke will treat you wonderfully." I said looking straight at him, though he didn't seem to take notice. She shook her head violently.  
  
"No." Her pleas made my heart ache. She was terrified of the Duke and you could see it in her eyes.  
  
"Were wasting time!" Before I could stop him he grabbed Clare's hand causing her to trip the rest of the three stairs down.  
  
"Mummy!" She screamed and kicked and smack furiously. It took three men to finally get the squirming child out the door.  
  
"Good bye Satine! See you in two weeks!" The door shut with a loud bang. I could still hear Clare's screams outside the house. I saw her press her face up against the window of the buggy. Her face red with tears, and those big eyes wide with fright. I had made a promise to her. I had promised the Duke would never take her away or hurt her. Already that promise was broken. I new when she came back, if she came back. She would not be the same Clare as before. I new she would be mad at me, I new there was no way I could make it up to her. I sunk down on the stairs to wallow in grief. Christian was dead, my daughter would hate me, and I was the life long sex slave of the Duke. I wasn't sure how my life could really get any worse.  
  
"Satine..." I heard Harold's voice and felt his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Leave me!" I whispered angrily. He waited for a second and finally walked off.  
  
I was startled to hear a frantic knock on my door. I looked up and about passed out. Was I dead, or dreaming? Oh, his face so familiar looked so distorted. A terrible look in his eye that made my heart feel pity, even though of my own circumstances. I got up and walked to the door. I opened it, and stretched out my hand to touch his chest. No phantom was he or ghost, for I met a solid body.  
  
"Christian!" I flung my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. "Are you real? I thought you were dead. I heard the gun and..." He looked down at me and I quieted.  
  
"That was not me."  
  
"What? What are you saying?"  
  
"My life was not taken... for I took another's."  
  
"Christian, your speaking in riddles... What happened?" At this tears fell down his face.  
  
"I didn't mean to! It was for self defense! We fought and I shot him, but I really didn't want to kill him..."  
  
"You mean... you killed Warner? That the shot I heard was not taken by him but by you?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Come on lets get you inside. Its freezing out here." I took him by the hand and we walked inside. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~ We sat on the couch together drinking hot tea. I dismissed the staff. For a long while Christian said nothing. He just stared dazed off into the distance. I put my arms around him, holding him close to me. Feeling his body move with breath and life.  
  
"I'm a murderer Satine..." He said it softly, but it surprised me. His gray eyes fell on me.  
  
"That doesn't matter! Your alive and I love you. That's all that matters." He was silent again for a long time. I then noticed him look around.  
  
"Where's our daughter?" I averted my eyes from his and silently said,  
  
"The Duke has taken her back to France for the next two weeks. To make sure I don't run away. And Christian... The night before we were going to run away, the Duke came back early from France. He got a priest to get us married, and we eloped. There was nothing I could do! He was going to kill you and or Clare. I'm sorry."  
  
"Your married?" I nodded.  
  
"I didn't want to be! I couldn't let him hurt her anymore..."  
  
"Anymore? What do you mean?"  
  
"That night he... he slapped her and knocked her down. He wouldn't let me go to her." He was quiet for the longest time. But you could see it in his face.... He was thinking rapidly and he was pissed.  
  
"What name did you give to get married? On your papers what did you put?!" He looked at me franticly his eyes were ablaze.  
  
"I.. uh... Gwen Nicole Meire. Why?"  
  
"Is that your real name?"  
  
"Well... no."  
  
"So the Duke is married to a Gwen Meire. And since that's not your real name, the marriage isn't legal. Your still not married, love.... Now about Clare..." I didn't say anything. I let him think. He stood and paced around the room, thinking. "Darling I've got an idea." He sat me down holding my hands in his.  
  
"Will you marry me?" I looked at him, my eyes wide. A smile creeped on my lips.  
  
"Yes." I breathed. A broad grin spread across his face.  
  
"Then we'll get married tonight. A legal marriage. When the Duke gets home, act as if everything were normal. Pack two bags. One for you and one for Clare. I need you to hide them somewhere. And pack for India." He smiled at me and then continued. "Buy sleeping pills and make sure they get into his wine glass the night we leave. You won't have any contact with me until we meet at the train station in two weeks. If you need to talk to me, send someone you trust with your life. You won't be able to leave I'm sure and undoubtedly the Duke has gotten word that his manservant is dead. The police will be looking for me, the Duke will make sure of that. Act as if I am still dead. I'll be under an Alias, so I'll find you. Meet me at gate 3. Does that sound good?" I nodded and smiled. He leaned over and kissed me. "Lets hurry, darling. Before the police start searching for me. Do you know any clergy that would keep silence by any chance?" I thought for a moment.  
  
"Yes. One of the dancers brothers is a priest at a small church just a mile from here. We met once, I'm sure he would marry us."  
  
"Good, go get your coat on and we'll be off." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Brother James was more than happy to marry Christian and I after we explained to him. He promised that he would forget this night and speak of it no one.  
  
"Darling! I don't have a ring..." Christian said right before the ceremony.  
  
"I don't need a ring. I don't." I thought for a moment, then took the hem of my skirt and pulled at a thread until it came loose. I broke it off and tied it around my ring finger. I did the same for Christian. "This will be my ring. And you will never see it off my finger." I said looking into his eyes. He smiled and kissed me.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too, darling." Brother James smiled at us both and motioned for us to go into his small office. We were both all smiles during the whole thing. I couldn't imagine not spending the rest of my life with this man.  
  
"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss your bride." We kissed passionately. I didn't want to let him go. The thought of not seeing him for two weeks scared me. Especially since he was being sought after by the Police.  
  
"I have to go now, love. I should hurry. I'll send you a telegram that will tell about my whereabouts. Don't read it, give it to your trusted one, so that you can swear on your grave you don't know where I am." He kissed me held me for a moment. "I love you." He said to me. And then leaned into my ear "Come what may." He sang. I clung to those notes, to those words. He let go of me and kissed me one more time and ran off. I turned to Brother James. "Thank you a million."  
  
"You needn't worry, I won't tell a soul about this meeting. I promise."  
  
"I know. And I thank you again." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. He blushed slightly. I left his side and walked out in the chill air. I didn't mind walking in the cold back home. I was in a state of bliss. Everything would be okay. We would live in India and raise a family there. I smiled about thoughts of the future for the first time, in a long, long time. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~* ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
I didn't get any kind of telegram from Christian for two days. I was constantly checking the mail. And checking outside to see if I could get even a glimpse of him. He must have had someone deliver it, for I never saw him. One time checking the mail I saw a small white envelope. On it, it said "To my sparkling Diamond, from Your Penniless Poet." I smiled and as promised did not open the envelope.  
  
"Mary! Mary I need you." I heard her run downstairs.  
  
"Has it come miss?" I nodded. I handed her the envelope. She took it and walked quickly upstairs to her quarters. In five minutes she came back down.  
  
"He said all is well, and where he is hiding at, as promised. Then he said to burn it." I nodded. I was feeling distressed though, for my baby girl. The two weeks passed slower than any two weeks had. I was always nervous, always scared for my husbands life and for Clare's. I found no comfort in sleep. For even my nights were long. If I fell asleep I had dreams of Christian being shot, of Clare being hurt and I was always in the middle trying to save them both but I could only save one. And then finally the Duke arrived early one morning as he promised. Clare was fast asleep in the carriage and he had someone bring her in. I held her sleeping form in my arms. I looked at her face to see if there were any bruises or scrapes. She seemed unharmed.  
  
"Darling, go put the child upstairs and then come down to me. I've missed you." I did as told and walked slowly upstairs and into my room. There, I laid Clare down. I took off her shoes, her gloves, her coat, and her hat. I then tucked her under the covers and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Miss?" I heard Mary's voice call my name. I turned around to see that she had a little white envelope.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I found this out in the front. Christian says everything is in order, and that the train leaves at 12:00 tonight."  
  
"Thank you Mary. Make sure you burn that one too."  
  
"I will, Miss." She walked over to the fireplace and dropped it in. I sighed and left my child's side to go back down to the Duke.  
  
"Now, Darling, tell me you missed me." He smiled at me, and I used on my will power not to bitch slap him. I new if I warmed up to him he would know something was up. So I decided to be my normal self.  
  
"I missed my little girl. But sadly Duke I did not miss your presents." I said coldly.  
  
"Well I'm sure this behavior of yours will pass. Now how about we all go on a family picnic?"  
  
"It's to cold outside, and my daughter is sleeping. I will not leave this house until she wakes up and if you do wake her up, I will not attend supper with you tonight. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go rest." I turned and walked away quickly before he could really say anything.  
  
The rest of the day I hid in the study. It was one of the largest rooms in the house, and there were shelves of books to hide behind, and corners everywhere. I brought Clare down there and we read books of all sorts and I told her how our new life in India would be. But I could tell she was not the same. She seemed distant, though glad to see me. In the course of those two weeks she became very introverted and I new from then on my outgoing Clare, had turned shy and wished to hide from the world. She would tell me nothing about the trip to France and stared off into the distance if I asked. I was desperate to know what happened, but I new I would not know for a very, very long time  
  
The Duke, still tired and weary from the long journey to England, slept most of the day. For which I was very thankful. I finally went up to eat at 7:00. Mary was in charge of slipping the pills into his wine, they were supposed to dissolve instantly.  
  
Dinner was quiet and when the wine was served I could hardly keep still. The Duke sipped his wine, and I was sure he new nothing of the plan. The thought that Christian, Clare, and I were going to be together as a family in five hours thrilled me to the bone. Everything should work out, everything has to work out.  
  
The sleeping pills took affect on the Duke almost exactly a half hour later, the Duke said he was tired, and retired to "our" bedroom. I found it funny how he stumbled upstairs in a daze, and almost passed out on the bed. I smiled to myself and felt my luck was changing. . 


	9. Chapter 9 The End

I went to the Duke's side at 10:00, to act as if I was going to sleep. I lay there for an hour. As soon as the clock said 11:00, I got slowly out of bed. As silently as I could, I got dressed. I braided my hair loosely to keep it out of my way. Before I left the room I grabbed the suitcases which were under the bed. I was getting ready to leave the room when I had a thought. I grabbed the key that hung on a nail next to the door and locked the door from the inside. Instead of leaving out that door, I would leave through Mary's room. Once inside her room, I locked that door too. Clare was in Mary's room getting ready. While she did that I put the key in her suitcase. I new it wouldn't be long until somebody found another key but if the Duke woke up at least it would buy us more time.  
  
"Almost ready?" I asked Mary.  
  
"Aye, just a moment." While Mary bothered herself with buttoning Clare's coat I took my purse and took out 100 pounds and a note that said "I hope that you will join us in India someday.... I will send you information about where we are living, if you're interested. PS: Burn this when you find it" I slipped it in her drawer underneath one of her petticoats and turned around right when she finished with Clare's hat.  
  
"She's ready." Clare looked up at me sucking her lip. I smiled. She looked like a little Eskimo.  
  
"Thank you for all your help Mary. We couldn't have done this without you." I hugged her and then departed with Clare in hand. ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~* *~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~  
  
I waited around at gate three, and at exactly 12:00 I felt an arm around my waste.  
  
"I love you." The voice whispered in my ear. I turned around to look at Christian. A hat covered his eyes and he had grown a beard. "Don't worry the beard goes as soon as we get to India." I giggled. "This is really it. Were going to make it." He smiled at me and we kissed. "Let's go. The Train leaves in five minutes." He got a cart to put our luggage on and gave me my ticket and Clare's. Clare held both of our hands and we walked to our train. We were walking up the steps to the train when I heard a scream. Clare's scream.  
  
"Gotcha!"  
  
"Duke!" I turned around and there he was. Clare in hand. Christian pushed me onto the train and then hopped down. I heard the whistle blow and the engine began to go.  
  
"Give her back, Duke." Christian said looking him dead in the eye.  
  
"Not until you give me my wife back." He spat at Christian.  
  
"I beg your pardon, but she's my wife. The girl Gwen Meire is not she. There for your marriage was not legal." The Duke's face was tight. I saw him grasp Clare's arm tighter, causing her to screech in pain.  
  
"In the same respect, you killed Warner."  
  
"Yes, but he was going to kill me. It was in self defense."  
  
"OW!" The Duke twisted Clare's arm more.  
  
"Christian the train is getting ready to leave..." I warned.  
  
"Come with me Satine, and I will let your poet live and I will leave your daughter alone!" The Duke said. In one quick move, Christian punched the Duke in the face, causing him to let go of Clare. Christian picked Clare up by her waste and stepped upon the deck of the train right when it started going. But the Duke recovered quickly. He grabbed onto Clare's leg and started running with the train.  
  
"Mummy!" She almost fell completely out but Christian caught her wrist. The Duke had a death grip on Clare's ankle. The train started speeding up. Christian's grasp on Clare's wrist was slipping. Thinking franticly I took my shoe off and hurled it as hard as I could at the Duke's face, hitting it dead on. He let go of Clare's leg. The force of it all causing him to topple backwards, hitting his head hard on the ground. Killing him almost instantly. Clare was flung foreword, her stomach hitting the brass gate; knocking the breath from her. Christian picked her up over the gate and laid her down on the ground.  
  
"Is she okay?" I asked, looking down at her. When she caught her breath she began to cry.  
  
"I think she'll be okay. Though she's probably scared shitless right now." He picked up Clare and we walked inside the train to find our seat. Clare, Christian, and I were together as a family at last.  
  
YAY! Well now that that's done. I'm currently working on a sequel. Please R&R and no flames please! I hope you enjoyed it. 


	10. Chapter 10 At all costs

All right first things first: I don't own Moulin Rouge or any of the characters. Here is the sequel to A real Actress, which instead of making it separate I'm just going to combine the story's together. Satine and Christian have moved to India where they live in high society. Satine keeps her name to Gwen but you will notice that Christian still calls her Satine when they are alone. This is because Satine doesn't want her daughters to know of her past because she's afraid that they will fallow in her footsteps. They now have three girls Clare, who is up in England at the beginning and the twin girls Adele and Adelaide. This is the story of Adelaide.  
  
At All Costs  
  
"Christian! Christian, have you seen our daughter?" Satine asked looking disarray.  
  
"Hmm, which one?" Christian raised an eyebrow and continued to tie his bow tie.  
  
"Which one do you think, Darling?" Retorted Satine.  
  
"Well we have three of them you know..." Satine rolled her eyes at her husband and began to walk off. "Darling don't worry about Adelaide right now. You need to get ready. I'm sure her and Adele are getting ready as we speak."  
  
"Adele hasn't seen Adelaide since this afternoon, though! And neither have I..."  
  
"I'll find her. Don't worry. Just get dressed. Everything will be fine."  
  
"I wish I had your optimism." She began to walk out of the room, but Christian pulled her back wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.  
  
"I thought I needed to get ready..." She said smiling up at him.  
  
"I just thought you could use a little comfort." He said grinning. "Now go on." He released her and gave her a little push that followed with a slap on her butt. She made a mock scream and then giggled.  
  
"I'll get you for that one, love. I can promise you that." Satine said, as she walked off into the bedroom.  
  
"I can't wait." He yelled after her. In the distance he heard her laugh. "I'm going to go look for Adelaide!"  
  
"God help her if she isn't dressed!" Satine yelled to Christian,  
  
Christian laughed and headed downstairs to go look for his 15-year-old daughter.  
  
"Hello Papa!" He heard a voice say coming from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Ah Adele! Have you seen Adelaide?" Christian asked the older twin.  
  
"No I haven't. Not since this afternoon."  
  
"Do you know where she might be?"  
  
"Well she went to go play with Kana and Roger. I thought I heard her say something about going to the water hole. But I could have been mistaken."  
  
"Oh I see... Are you all ready?"  
  
"Yes, Papa."  
  
"Well then that makes two of us. Your mother is getting dressed." Both of their heads turned when they heard a large thump, followed by an "Ow!" Father and daughter gave each other a look of knowing and Christian turned around to go back upstairs.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~  
  
Adelaide ran through the dusty streets of India as fast as she could back to her home. She was soaked from head to toe in water and mud clung to different spots on her body. The dirt was accumulating with every step she took. She finally reached her large house. Now the trouble was getting in un-noticed. She peaked through a window and saw her twin sister and her father talking. The front door would not work. And the back was surrounded with servants probably all looking for her.  
Adelaide decided the trellis would have to do. She climbed upon it and reach up, grabbing the edge of her balcony. She lifted one leg up and re-grasped. Then pulled herself up and lifted herself over the railing. Adelaide walked quickly over the balcony inside her room... but forgot about the steps that led down to it. Inevitably she tripped and fell with a bang on the floor.  
  
"OW! Damn it!" Adelaide cursed. She quickly got herself up though and ran to the tub full of water, undressing in the process. She stepped into the tub. Goosebumps arose all over her body. The water was much colder than the waterhole. But despite this she continued to wash off all the mud and dirt that clung to her.  
  
Adelaide heard a knock at her door. "Adelaide? Are you in there?"  
  
"Uh, yes Papa! I'm getting my hair done! I'll be down in five minutes... And can you tell Mary to get up here. I need her help with... uh something." She stammered.  
  
"Yes, she'll be up in a moment." Once she was sure he was gone she grabbed the soap and rubbed her body furiously with it making it a rosy pink color when she finished. She then washed her hair.  
  
"Adelaide! It's Mary!" Adelaide heard on the other side of the door. She quickly hopped out of the tub and grabbed a towel that was on a near by chair.  
  
"Come in! And do so hurry!" Mary came in and shut the door.  
  
"Adelaide where have you been?" Asked Mary as she rubbed the girl dry and got her into fresh bloomers and a petticoat.  
  
"Promise not to tell Mother?" Mary nodded. "Well after lunch Roger and Kana and I decided to go to the waterhole. Another groups of kids were there... So we went to war."  
  
"Went to war?" Asked Mary questioningly.  
  
"Well not like that of course! We threw mud balls at each other, and had the best time! We won our waterhole back... It was us three against eight. We were so proud! And so the rest of the day we were celebrating. I didn't mean to be late. I understand that this dinner party is a very important thing to Mum and daddy. But I lost track of time."  
  
"Well your secret is safe with me... There you look decent enough. Let me do something with your hair though."  
Adelaide looked in the mirror. She thought she looked ridiculous in this dress with all its puffs, and petticoats.  
  
"I suppose Adele is wearing the exact same thing?"  
  
"Only in pink." Mary added.  
  
"Hmm figures. I don't see why, that just because were twins means we have to dress alike. Because we don't look alike that's for sure and we sure as hell don't act alike."  
  
"Adelaide don't swear, but just like your older sister, Adele favors Christian. But you on the other hand... look exactly like your mother. The eyes, the hair, the face." Mary smiled at her. Adelaide looked into the mirror. Her wet tresses were braided up into a bun. Mary had put a wreath of yellow flowers around it. "Here put your gloves on, and earrings, and I think you'll be done."  
  
"It's to warm for gloves..." Adelaide complained. But did as she was told and put them on along with earrings and matching choker. "Thank you for your help Mary."  
  
"Your welcome, child. Now go on down before you get into trouble." She got up and walked out of the door.  
  
"Adelaide! I'm so delighted that you've decided to grace us with your presents." Adelaide heard her father say.  
  
"I'm sorry I was late getting home Papa." Adelaide said.  
  
"Don't worry about it. You've just barely beaten your mother down." He said looking up at the top of the staircase, where Satine stood.  
  
"Adelaide, where have you been?" Asked Satine as she descended down the steps.  
  
"Umm, around... I guess." Adelaide said smiling cheesy.  
  
"That won't cut it. Tell me where you've been? And don't lie."  
  
"Well see..." Adelaide began.  
  
"Darling we'll talk later. If we do this now we will be late." Said Christian, taking Satine's arm in his.  
  
The family walked out and got into the car to drive off to the Dinner Party.  
  
Adelaide hated the family whose house they were going to. The three girls were prissy and annoying. They only cared for their looks, and what guys thought of them. Adele got along much better with them than Adelaide did. They considered the people she hung out with low, and so that made her low.  
  
Adelaide wondered off on her own, hoping to find a quiet corner where the talk of the latest fashions and who was dating who and such, would not come to her ears. And the only place she could go to be from such talk was outside.  
Adelaide walked around the porch and looked longingly off into the distance. Wishing to be anywhere but here. Then she saw a figure running closer and closer to the house. It was small and ran swiftly. Soon Adelaide could tell it was her friend Kana. She jumped from the porch steps and ran across the land to meet her friend.  
  
"Kana! What are you doing here? And how did you get in? The entrance to this place is being watched so that only people on "the list" can come past the gates. And I'm pretty sure you weren't on that list" Adelaide said looking at her friend questioningly. Kana smiled broadly.  
  
"Well they're pretty stupid. I climbed over the fence just about 100 yards down. I suppose there company wouldn't think of climbing a fence in 1,000 years."  
Adelaide laughed.  
"Yeah, that's true.... So where's Roger?" Asked Adelaide, looking for the other sidekick.  
  
"He is waiting for us. We found a secret entrance to a club..." Kana's smile broadened. Adelaide smiled and then frowned, sighing, "I can't go... I'm supposed stay here. And besides, I'm in enough trouble as it is. Being late and all." Kana looked at her pleadingly. "What if we went another night?"  
  
"When your parents talk to you though, you won't be able to leave the house for at least a week. You might as well get in trouble tonight and get it all over with." Adelaide nodded and smiled.  
  
"I like the way you think... Are we supposed to dress up for this club?" She asked Kana.  
  
"Well yes. But I figured we could barrow something of yours, and Roger can where that suit you got for you're school play. It should fit him, it was big on you." Adelaide nodded.  
  
"Let's go back to my house, find something for all of us to wear, and then we can sneak in through this passage of yours." Adelaide said. She was already descending from the porch stairs and started running across the lawn. On the way she shed her shoes and stockings, preferring to go barefoot. She hiked up her dress showing the lacy bloomers she wore. The two girls laughed and raced each other to the gate. Adelaide's long legs carried her farther faster, but she just barely beat Kana. They climbed over the gate. Adelaide made it over but caught her dress at the hem. A terrible ripping sound came. She lost her balance and fell with an oomph to the ground. Both girls doubled over in a fit if laughter and continued laughing as they ran down the block to meet they're other friend.  
  
The three walked quickly in the dark to get to Adelaide's home. They arrived there 20 minutes later. Each snuck up the trellis like Adelaide had done just an two hours before. They all silenced their giggles and walked into Adelaide's room.  
  
"My mother has tons of dresses in her closet. She won't miss two... Roger go get the tux in my closet then go wash the dirt off your face. I'll find my dads cologne and you can use some of that. Kana come with me."  
  
Roger walked to Adelaide's closet while Kana and Adelaide walked down the hall and into her parent's bedroom. The master bedroom was beautiful. Satine had decorated it herself. It had a very Indian flare to it, mixed with beautiful blues, sultry reds, jade greens and bright yellows. It was decorated with Ivory and jade. The closet was mostly everyday clothes. Nice suitable clothes, that you would see a middle class person wearing. Unlike most rich people, who wore stuffy beautiful dresses everyday; Satine was more classy in how she dressed. Though she had many nice dresses they weren't her pride and joy.  
Adelaide turned on a lamp and walked to the back of the closet where her mother's nice dresses hung. She had never really been back here. She fingered the material. Silks, shears, satins. Adelaide finally found a dress she thought suited her. It was rose red, sleeveless, and low cut. Kana found a dark blue one, which went with her dark skin, hair, and eyes. Adelaide looked around for two corsets. One's that would fit the bust line of the dresses. Otherwise she new neither one of them had a chance of fitting into them. She knew her mother had some. She found it funny that she did own them... her mother was so strict about this kind of stuff, which caused Adelaide to feel her mother was hiding something from her, but she could never figure out what. She was just thinking this when the beginning of the puzzle hit her on the head.  
  
"Owe! Dammit! What the hell was that?" Adelaide cursed. Then looked on the ground to find a blue book. On the front in gold letters she read the words "The Moulin Rouge" "The red mill?" She asked to herself silently, thinking back to her French.  
  
"Huh... another book written by my father." She opened the cover and found the dedication. For my Beloved Satine, She was my sparkling diamond. I love you, my darling. "Oh my god. Who the hell is Satine?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Asked Kana, looking over the dress.  
  
"This book is dedicated to a woman named Satine. It was by my father.... And my mother's name is Gwen. So who's Satine?"  
  
"I dunno but you better hurry up! Read it later, we have a club to get to!" Kana said with excitement in her voice.  
  
"Alright, alright. Tie the back up to this dress and I'll do yours and then I'll do your hair."  
  
It was 30 minutes later when all three of them were primped and ready to go. They took extra care going back down the trellis, making sure nothing got torn or dirty. Finally they were all three down and walking quickly on their way. The girls pulled up their dresses so as to keep the dirt from the hem. The Club Adelaide, soon found out, was one of the most popular clubs in the area. Dancing, singing... it was your basic night club.  
  
They quietly made there way behind the club where there was a cellar... unlocked. The three of them smiled at each other. Roger opened one door while Kana got the other. Adelaide walked in first checking to make sure the coast was clear. It was dark and the only sign of light was a door that led up into the dance hall. Roger and Kana followed Adelaide. They silently walked up the stairs, and feeling a little conspicuous, slipped through the door into the crowded dance hall.  
  
"Wow..." All three of them stared in amazement at the atmosphere around them. In one glance all three of them saw more skin revealed than they had ever seen in their whole lives. Adelaide was the first to come to her senses.  
  
"Come on guys we look like idiots with our mouths gaped and eyes wide open." She pointed out. Roger and Kana agreed and they walked away from the door. Adelaide looked around at the woman and noticed they walked with certain sway to the hips. Some of them had a hand on a hip to give it an effect. Adelaide decided she would try this. She put her right hand on her right hip and walked swaying her hips slightly. Kana looked at her and laughed.  
  
"So how do I look?" She gave a sultry look and put her left hand behind her head sticking out her chest while keeping her right hand on her hip.  
  
"Haha! You look ridiculous but at least you look like you fit in." Roger admitted. Adelaide smiled broadly and continued with her little act. Kana attempted do to the same but it just wasn't going all that great for her. The three laughed and walked nervously to find an empty table. Which that was easier said than done. The dance hall was large but almost all the tables were taken up. So they ended up standing most of the time.  
  
They walked around a bit and then decided to just stay near the wall after Adelaide had gotten her butt grabbed at and smacked for the 4th time. All the guys "mistakenly" thought she was one of the dancers.  
  
"Come on guys lets go out there and dance... This is a club after all. We didn't come here to just sit around and look at everyone else dancing." Adelaide pointed out. Kana looked hesitant to move from her spot, as did Roger. Adelaide sighed. "Well I'm going out there." The two didn't do anything to stop her and told her that they would join her soon.  
  
Adelaide walked around the tables and toward the dance floor. The tightness of the corset restricted her breathing, so before she entered the dance floor she took the deepest breaths she could muster and walked on to the dance floor. All of the sudden she was caught in a whirlwind of color. She went from male dancer to male dancer. At first she was frightened and wanted more than anything to get out of the crowded dance hall and into the cool night air. But then adrenaline kicked in, she was caught in the heat, the music, the movement, the moment... she was thrown into a series of dips, swings, and lifts. One song ended and another began. An Indian Erotic mix, a hip sexy song... And then like it never started it stopped. An Indian woman and a white man stood up on a platform.  
  
"And now it's time for one of you to perform!" Yelled the woman. She was Indian and dressed in a very traditional Indian Garb though it looked rather risqué.  
  
"As you all know the spotlight will pick one of you out, and you will come up here and sing or dance or whatever the hell you feel like doing!" Shouted a man enthusiastically. He was white unlike his companion. In his 30's but was rather handsome with brown hair and light green eyes.  
Adelaide took this time to go find her friends and check up on them. She was just getting off the dance floor when she felt a bright light on her back and saw her silhouette in front of her. Not sure what to do she just stood there. Cheer's and claps resounded off the walls, but she was only conscious to her own breathing.  
  
"Come on up honey!" She heard the man yell. "God do something!" she yelled at herself. "You like a idiot!" So she took one deep breath and turned facing the spotlight. She let a seductive smile creep up on her face and walked towards the spotlight and on the platform with as much confidence as she could muster.  
  
"Ah! Here comes the darling!" The man said. Adelaide felt her hands shaking. But she smiled broadly at him. "What are you doing for us baby?" He asked to her silently when she got up there.  
  
"Uh, do I really have to do this?" Adelaide asked timidly.  
  
"I would... unless you want to be booed and jeered at. Teased and taunted." He said looking at her. She gave him a week smile.  
  
"I guess I'll sing..."  
  
"Wonderful! You start and the band will pick it up."  
  
Adelaide's mind raced. What to sing? She thought back to a favorite childhood memory, when her mother and she were actually close. She had sung a song lively and upbeat and Adelaide had demanded she teach it to her. Taking a deep breath she found it inside her to draw out the first note.  
  
The French are glad to die for love They delight in fighting duels But I prefer a man who lives And gives expensive jewels... Her heart skipped a beat as she looked out at the crowd. But continued singing... A kiss on the hand may be quite continental But diamonds are a girl's best friend A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental On your humble flat, or help you feed your helpless cat Confidence built in her as the Audience started getting into it. Adelaide felt something then that she had never felt before. The exhilaration of the moment, the audience smiling. They enjoyed this. She made little movements that showed off what sex appeal she had. The audience loved it Men grow cold as girls grow old And we all lose our charms in the end But square-cut or pear-shaped These rocks don't lose their shape Diamonds are a girl's best friend ...Tiffany...Cartier... Cause we are living in a material world And I am a material girl Come and get me, boys Black Star, Ross Cole Talk to me, Harry Zilder, tell me all about it! Adelaide had no idea who exactly Harry Zidler was, but soon it had just became a part of the song and she paid no attention to it. There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer But diamonds are a girl's best friend There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're awful nice But get that ice or else no dice He's your guy when stocks are high  
  
But beware when they start to descend  
  
Diamonds are a girl's best Diamonds are a girls best Diamonds are a girls best friend Cause that's those louses go back to their spouses! Diamonds are a girl's best friend !  
  
And the room exploded. Adelaide smiled wildly. The crowd was going crazy standing up and cheering.  
  
"Wow baby... I'm speechless. Ever done this before?" Asked the man.  
  
"Not really, just in front of family." Adelaide couldn't stop smiling. They really loved her.  
  
"Well you were simply wonderful. If you could, we'd love to have you."  
  
"Have me work here? Regularly?" Adelaide asked shocked.  
  
"Yep. The audience seems to love you. And you have the voice and moves. With just a little training you could be really hot here." Chimed in the Indian woman.  
  
"I'll think about it." She said without thinking, turned around and walked off the platform.  
  
"Adelaide!" She heard one of her friends call her. She turned around to see Roger and Kana running towards her. "You were wonderful! Where did you learn that song? Oh and we found someone we actually know! Well. sorta. that Mrs. Tucker lady we harassed and played pranks on at that dinner party you mum had. We saw her! It's kinda funny to think that a person like her would come to place like this but she left about half way through your performance... Of course everyone else was entranced." Adelaide's head shot to Roger.  
  
"Mrs. Tucker?!" She asked worriedly. "Oh my god... Do you know what this means?"  
  
"That were going to have fun joking about this for the rest of our lives?" Kana asked as if it was obvious what it all meant  
  
"No! Mrs. Tucker is the biggest gossip you'll ever meet! She'll be sure to tell my mother and father... Oh this is just grand! Come on we got to go!"  
  
"Now? But it's still kinda early." Roger complained.  
  
"Just come on! I have to try and get to my parents before that witch does or I'm done for!" Adelaide pulled her friends to the secret entrance.  
"You guys go on home." She told them before she started running.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I can't believe you did that!" Shouted an enraged Satine. "You ran away from the party to go out with your friends... You were supposed to perform for everyone."  
  
"I know, but I couldn't stand it there any longer. I'm sorry." Adelaide said as sincerely as she could.  
  
"But you shouldn't have just gone off like that! We were worried, darling." Christian said softly. Adelaide felt bad when her father said this especially in that tone of voice. Disappointment was visible on his face.  
  
"I'm sorry daddy..." She tried again.  
  
"So tell us, Adelaide. Where have you been? And I want the truth." Satine said warningly.  
  
"Just with Kana and Roger... you now walking around."  
  
"Adelaide you don't just go walking around in my dresses for the fun of it and if I'm not mistaken Kana has one of mine. For which I won't blame her..."  
  
"I didn't go anywhere!" Adelaide said. Satine bent down to look at her child in the eyes.  
  
"You went to a dance club didn't you?" She asked. And there was something in her eyes as she looked at Adelaide that Adelaide couldn't forget, or discern. A sense of knowing was present in that look. It seemed right then they had connected in some way. "You smell like men, alcohol, and sweat."  
  
"So what if I had? I didn't enjoy it. I would never go back." Satine half smiled.  
  
"Oh yes you did. I can see it in your eyes." Satine said softly as if she was in a whole other world altogether. At this Adelaide down cast her eyes. Her mother knew her far to well, and yet they weren't close at all.  
  
"So what now? Am I to be punished?"  
  
"Yes. But your father and I need to talk about it privately and don't think were done talking. Now go to bed."  
  
Adelaide stood up from the chair and walked out without saying a word. It would probably be the same punishment she always got. Being confined to the house for two weeks or more.  
  
Once in her room she got into her nightgown and lay on her bed, with thoughts of performing dancing in her head. "An actress" she thought silently to herself. "A real actress" that was what she was going to be, that was what she wanted, that was what she was going to get, at all costs. 


	11. Chapter 11

"What are we going to do, Christian? I'm worried about our daughter." Satine looked helplessly at her husband.  
  
"Darling, frankly I don't see what the big deal is. Of course she should be punished but you need to calm down." Christian walked over to his wife and put his hands on her restless ones. "I think now should be the time you tell her the truth about your past and mine. Then she can learn from your mistakes."  
  
"No, Christian. I can't tell my girls what I used to be! The only reason Clare knows is because she was to old to forget everything the Duke did to us. And you remember what happened when I told her. She wouldn't talk to me for a week and she only sort of understood what I did. I regret telling even her. This is one of those lies I have to keep." Seeing the grief in her eyes made Christian's heart feel sore. He put his arms around his disturbed wife and leaned her into him.  
  
"So what do you want to do about it?" He asked in her ear. "School doesn't start for another month so we have until then to punish her." He said jokingly.  
  
"School." Mused Satine. Then she sat upright. "Christian, I have an idea." ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
  
"You're sending me to a boarding school?!" Shouted an enraged Adelaide.  
  
"We don't know what else to do! We punish you but it never has any effect, and we hate to do this, but this was the last straw." Christian said sternly. It was two weeks after the night at the club. Christian and Satine had mailed an application to a boarding school up in England.  
  
"I can't believe this! Arg!" Adelaide wasn't sure if she wanted to scream or cry. She sat on a chair close by and sighed. Anything would have been better then being sent to some stuffy boarding school where old women told you what to do how to act and taught boring things. Adelaide's thoughts were interrupted, when Mary knocked on the door.  
  
"Mails here Sir!"  
  
"Come on in Mary." She walked in and put the mail next to Christian and then walked back out.  
  
"Ah it's the school." Christian opened the letter. Satine leaning over to read over his shoulder. Adelaide looked up to see her father frowning.  
  
"There is a slight change in plans. It seems that they have no room left for two girls, but they run another school down in Paris, France." Christian looked at his wife as if to ask her for approval. He new Monmarte was not at all far from Paris.  
  
"Well then I guess it's settled. Adelaide and Adele will go to Paris in two weeks." Said Satine.  
  
"Adele is coming too?"  
  
"Yes she is." Answered Christian.  
  
"Can I be excused?" Adelaide asked.  
  
"Yes you may." Said Satine. Adelaide got up from her chair and walked dismally to her room. "And Adelaide." She heard her name being called after her, and turned around. "You know we both love you. Think of this as more of a learning experience than punishment." Adelaide rolled her eyes at her mother and continued to walk to her room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Adelaide's POV  
  
"Adelaide wake up. You have to get ready. You're train leaves in an hour." I heard Mary call me from the depths of my sleep and I so wanted to hide under my covers for the rest of my life so I didn't have to go to this Boarding school.  
  
"What time is it Mary?" I asked groggily.  
  
"4:30 in the morning miss."  
  
"Good god that's early!" I complained. "Why couldn't we take a later train?"  
  
"I don't really know, but that's what it is. So I'd stop complaining and get your hide out of bed." I complied with this wish by sliding off the edge of my bed and onto the floor where I decided to lay there. "Very funny Adelaide. Now come on." I sighed and picked myself up from the floor. "Can you manage everythin' by yourself?" Asked Marry.  
  
"Yes, I can. I'll be down in 15 minutes to eat." She looked at me with her arms crossed. "I promise I won't fall back asleep. Go on!" She gave me that doubtful look and then walked out and shut the door. I realize I had gotten a new traveling outfit, which was laid out, on my bed. I slipped off my nightgown and slipped into the petticoat and camisole. Next I put on my white stockings and then my skirt and blouse. Not sure what to do with the long straight hair that hung down my back, I quickly braided it and then put it up in a bun. I applied the teeniest bit of powder and rouge and declared myself ready. Thinking for a moment to see if I forgot anything, I remembered the book. I had yet to read any of it and the trip would be a long one. I walked over to my bed and lifted up the mattress where I had hid it. I then opened my traveling bag and stuck it deep inside. Now I was ready, and so I walked downstairs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~  
I watched the scenery pass by in flashes of green grass and gray snow topped mountains, as we passed through the countryside of Switzerland. It had been a long two and a half weeks after going on train and boat and with nobody but my sister and father. How I longed for Kana and Roger. I couldn't even read the book for I was too afraid my father would catch me. And for whatever reason it seemed like they had hid this book from Adele and me.  
I was glad that Bern was the last place to stop and switch trains. It led straight to Paris. My father said we would be there within a day. We had left Bern Switzerland nearly five hours ago. I felt drowsy and soon found myself fall asleep. I woke when my father nudged me.  
  
"Adelaide were almost to Paris. You need to gather your things."  
  
"What time is it?" I asked. It was dark that was for sure.  
  
"It's about 12." He answered getting his own things.  
  
"Really? I've been asleep that long?" I asked. He nodded. I got myself up rubbing my eyes and then got my things. I looked around for my sister and noticed she was deep asleep. She'd already gotten her things packed so she could sleep longer. Figures. She's the perfect one. I threw this thought aside because it never made me jealous before and it wasn't going to start now.  
I was just shutting my bag when the train stopped. We were informed of the stop and where we were. When we were off the train, My father called for a cab. Adele and I just stood there in zoned out silence until one pulled over for us. He told him to head to the nearest Hotel. Once there, we need five men to carry all of our stuff up to our room, plus us. That night it took me a long time to sleep. It was weird sleeping on a bed that wasn't moving. And also I was excited. France! Paris, France no less. It was renowned for its artists. Painters, dancers, singers, and actors alike. Though I wasn't sure how I was going to experience all this while at some boring boarding school. Especially with a busybody sister who liked to get into my business. And we would most definitely be rooming together, which peeved me a great deal.  
  
"St. Catherine's School for girls." Read Christian, "Well girls this looks like the right place."  
  
"Oh joy." I said sarcastically.  
  
"Why, Adelaide you don't sound the least bit pleased." Said Christian in mock shock.  
  
"Oh on the contrary father. I am most pleased." I said, emphasizing my last words.  
  
"Come on sister, cheer up. This school will give us many opportunities. And where's you're sense of adventure? I'm surprised of you. After all we are in Paris." She rather squeaked the last part, which annoyed me.  
  
"Adele, its boarding school. There's no adventure to be found. I mean even in the name boarding school, they subliminally tell you it's going to be boring." I pointed out.  
  
"Adele don't try to pick fights. Adelaide don't egg her on. I want you girls to be on your best behavior." Adele sounded aghast.  
  
"Father! I wasn't trying to pick a fights, I was simply." but she was interrupted.  
  
"I know what you were doing. Now you girls stop bickering. We don't want to scare the teachers on the first day." I snorted. I thought it might be fun.  
My father rung the bell and a nun opened the door.  
  
"Welcome to St. Catherine's." She smiled. "You must be the James girls. We've been expecting you, please come in."  
  
"Thank you." My father replied to her gesture and we walked in. The room we found ourselves in was fairly large with a couple chairs. The nun lead us straight into an office, whether is was hers or not I was not sure. My father handed her some papers and she gave him some more to sign. Adele and I just stood still without talking.  
  
"You girls have come at just the right time I think. You will have two weeks to get settled here until the next semester starts. Now if you would we shall take a tour of the place and I'll go over school rules."  
  
The tour of the school was very boring. Meeting the teachers. boring. School rules. boring. I paid no attention whatsoever to her, at least Adele acted like she was listening. I was rather spacey and kept yawning. I was glad when we came to hour rooms we were staying in. I thanked god that I had a room to myself and Adele was in a different room across the hall. Our luggage had been brought up during the tour and each was put in its rightful room.  
  
"I'll let you say your good bye's to your girls and someone will be up in about 10 minutes to take them to the park where the other girls are right now." She took her leave and walked down the wooden stairway.  
  
"I'm going to miss you daddy." I said to him. And I really was. I felt my father and I had a better connection than my mother and I did.  
  
"As will I." Added Adele.  
  
"We'll be coming for Christmas and then you will spend the summers in India. So don't look so glum. You both only have another two years here before you're old enough to go to college or whatever you want to do with you're lives. But you're mother and I are very proud of both of you're accomplishments and we both love you very, very much." I wasn't really paying attention to this last part. Two years! Two years in this horrible place. I felt my frown deepen. I stared at the ground and hardly felt my father's kiss on my forehead. I did feel him hug me though, and I hugged him as hard as I could. Homesickness was already starting to take a hold of me. I felt my heart feel heavy, and an ache in my throat started.  
  
"I'll see you girls in a couple of months." He hugged and kissed us again and then walked down the stairs.  
  
"I'm going to unpack." I said flatly. Adele nodded and we walked into our separate rooms. I shut the door behind me, and tried to swallow the tears in my throat. I hadn't realized how much I was going to miss home. And the next two years were going to be like this? The next two years my life was going to be boring. I could see that plain enough. Nothing exciting ever happens at a boarding school, it's not supposed to. We would take field trips to museums and see all of the famous artist's statues, painting, and the like, but that was it. The rest of the time would be devoted to studies and trying to figure out what to do with myself when I had free time. Though I hadn't met any of the girls yet I had a feeling I knew what they would be like. I pushed the thoughts from my head, not wanting to wallop in self-pity.  
I looked on the queen-sized bed and saw my uniform. I looked at it with disgust. It was a navy blue dress that extended to the knees. It had short sleeves and had no decoration at all, except for the fairly large white sash. White stockings and a pair of navy blue shoes sat next to the dress.  
  
I heard a knock at my door.  
  
"Come in." I yelled.  
  
"Good morning to you mademoiselle." Said a sweet voice, with a hint of a French accent. I turned around to see a lovely woman wearing a navy blue dress. The same fabric and color of our uniforms, only hers was cut more for a woman. She had short-cropped, golden curls and emerald green eyes. Her sweet nature could be seen by the sweet smile she had on her face and the grace with which she moved. "My name is mademoiselle Bellefort. But I have my students call me Ms. Gabriella. I do not like, would you say, being formal very much." Wow, so not all the woman who ran this establishment are stiffs. "I'm supposed to tell you to get dress in your uniform and then go over the schedule of the next two weeks, then were to were to meet the other girls at the park.  
Every day, except Sundays, The girls wake up call is at 8:00. You have to be downstairs a half-hour later for breakfast at 8:30. From 9:00 to 10:00 we read a morning devotional and read a couple chapters out of the bible. We take all the girls out to get some exercise from 10:00 to 11:45. And then we go inside to wash up and eat at 12:00. From 12:00 till 2:00 we have quiet time. Where the girls can take naps, read books, study. and so on. 2:00 to 5:00 some girls have tutorials while the older girls are aloud to go into Paris with a chaperone. The younger girls have free time where they can visit each other in their rooms, go to the park and play games. At 5:00, we eat. At 5:30 we have a devotional and then we read a couple chapters out of the bible, and then we read a couple chapters out of the book of the month. At 7:30 every body take's their baths and gets ready for bed. Lights out at 9:00 for the younger girls 9:30 for the older.  
That's about it, and there is a schedule on your dresser if you don't know what to do next. Take your time getting dressed, I'll be waiting outside the door." She offered another smile and then walked out of my room. I found that I liked her and so decided not to try her patients. I hastily undressed and threw my clothes on the bed. In less than five minutes the ugly uniform was on and my hair French braided.  
My sister walked out of her room at the same time I walked out of mine.  
  
"Ready girls?" We nodded in response, both feeling rather glum about being so far away from our homeland. Soon I felt my homesickness ebb away just by talking with Ms. Gabriella. She reminded me of an extraverted Clara. Clara was in London right now, at an art school. She was an excellent artist and her paintings were admired by anybody who saw them. She was quiet and shy. Despite the rest of my family's seemingly outgoing personality, Clara was just plain introverted. My mother said something had happened to her when she was young. It effected Clara emotionally for the rest of her life. She trusted only family and a few select friends. When Clara told mum and dad she wanted to go to England to study art they were thrilled and immediately found information about the best colleges and the best boarding houses and such for their eldest daughters welfare.  
  
I had been thinking so long and so in depth about my sister I didn't even realize we were outside, nearing the park. Only when I felt beads of sweat on my forehead I came out of my thoughts and looked around. The park Ms. Gabriella was escorting us to, was actually owned by the boarding school and the church that sat right next to it. Though owned by the church it was for the public also. The park looked like any other park with trees, flowers, and bushes. Four fountains were found on the outer corners of the park and a very large fifth one found in the center. Girls ran around playing tag or hide and go seek or kickball. While others sat under the shade of the trees or played in the cooling waters of the fountains. The teachers sat on benches cooling themselves by waving their hands in front of their faces.  
  
"Were here. You girl's go run along with the rest of them." She pushed us lightly along into the park. We walked together slowly, looking at all the children playing and screaming. Feeling rather intimidated, as most new students feel at a new school, we both sought out the nearest, empty bench and sat down. I fingered the hem of my dress nervously and Adele pulled on one of her dark brown curls. I felt stupid. This was stupid! Why should we just sit here and not have any fun just because were new and don't know anybody and don't want to send a bad first impression.. There were plenty of girls around.  
  
"Come on Adele, were going to go meet some of these girls." I stood up and grabbed her hand.  
"Adelaide. I don't really want TO!" The last word she ended up screaming for multiple reasons. First off, when I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the bench a ball came whizzing by. If it hadn't been for me, it would have been a direct hit. Secondly my foot slipped out from underneath me and I fell right my back, as Adele landed on her stomach. Thirdly, I met a boy.  
  
"Would you like me to help you up?" I squinted my eyes in pain, and barely nodded my head. I couldn't have really gotten up by myself, it felt like every bone in my back was broken. "Thank you." I said once on my feet. I looked at the person who had helped me up and noticed he was a boy in a uniform as if he was at a boarding school too. I new it wasn't impossible that he went to a boarding school as well. There were all boy school's in Paris as well as all girl school's, but was there a boys school so close to ours? I then noticed then that a heard of boys had come to the park from the opposite direction. "You're welcome." He smiled at me. I felt my stomach lurch. He had a very, very sweet smile. I looked at him more closely. He had blonde, almost honey colored hair, beautiful bright blue eyes. And oh god that smile. I realized that as I was looking him over, he was looking me over. When we both realized we were looking each other over, awkwardness filled the situation.  
  
"I didn't know there was a boy's school so close to our girl's school." I said trying anything to get his eyes off of me.  
"You must be new then. Our boy's school is just about a block away from here. It's run by the same church. Allow me to introduce myself. My names James. And yours is.?"  
  
"I'm Adelaide. And this is my sister Adele." She pointed to Adele who was trying furiously to get a hardly visibly grass stain out of her uniform. He nodded. "So do you boys come to this park regularly?" God stop staring at me.  
  
"Yeah, we usually come about the same time you girls do. But listen we were just starting a game of kickball. wanna join?" Finally something to do.  
  
"Of course." I smiled mischievously.  
  
"You know how to play then?"  
  
"Probably better than you." I boasted.  
  
"Well in that case you're on my team. Because we suck and we need another good player." I raided my eyebrows at this.  
  
"Then let's begin." But before I could walk off I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Adelaide you can't go join a bunch of boys in kickball. Do you know how un-lady like it is?"  
  
"Adele I don't care about lady like. I want to have some fun. If you're going to be all prissy about this then go join the other girls who sit idly under a tree. I'm going to play some real kickball. "  
  
"Adelaide, this isn't India! You can't just go run off with a bunch of boys in your dress!" I wasn't really listening I just walked away with James.  
  
"Hey James did you get that ball? And who do have here?" I heard a boy yell.  
  
"Guys, this is Adelaide, she's playing some kickball with us."  
  
"A girl?" Asked another one of the guys in shock. I looked around seeing the rest of the guys look at me as if I was to delicate to play.  
  
"Oh come on you all, she might not be all that bad." He winked at me and smiled.  
  
"Jay I doubt she's ever thrown a ball in her life! Owe!" I had chucked the ball as hard as I could into the guy's head. He turned and looked at me. I made a fake gasp.  
  
"I'm so sorry." I said trying to suppress a smile. James had his hand over his mouth getting ready to burst with laughter.  
  
"Let's get started then!" James shouted to the rest of the boys. 


End file.
